5. I sort of like the smell of skunk

4. The second time I went to the local zoo here in South Bend (Potawatomi zoo), my daughter and I got peed on (i.e., “sprayed”) by one of the female lions – and yes, it was from point blank range. . .

3. I was the state free-throw champion of Tennessee when I was 13 – my basketball career went downhill from there. . .

2. I love to play online chess – especially when people start to trash talk. . . yes, . . . people actually do trash talk in online chess.

1. Even though my PhD. is in Cognitive Psychology, my undergraduate degree is in Quantitative Bio-physics with a minor in Computer Science. . . it’s a long story. . .

We had our first chapel today at Bethel (which you can watch live 10am on MWF here), and it is by tradition that the president of the college speaks to the student body. Let me just say that Bethel College is blessed to have the leadership of Dr. Steve Cramer as our president. . . He told a story today that I wanted to pass along to you because it really got to me as a father, a leader in our church’s youth group, and as a professor of about 150 or so students that I have the privilege of teaching this semester.

There was a dad who happened to be late to work one day, but since his wife was out of town, he needed to take his 6-year old daughter to school that morning. Now, since his wife usually took his daughter to school if she ever missed the bus (like she did that morning), he did not know how to get there. . . he was confident, though, that his daughter could guide him to her school. So, he rushed along . . . getting his work stuff and her school stuff all in the car, and off they went. Every few minutes or so, his daughter would confidently tell her dad to turn left or turn right . . . and so they travelled. After about 20 minutes they arrived at the school, only to discover that it was only a couple of blocks away from their home. Now, really being late for work, the Dad, in frustration, asked his daughter. . . honey, why did you take me on that long route around town when your school is only a few blocks from our house?  The daughter looked back at her dad. . . knowing that he was upset, and said sorry daddy, that’s the way that the school bus goes. . . it’s the only way that I know how to go. . .

Do  you know someone that is trying to achieve success at work, in relationships, school, or in battles within their own head, but they don’t seem to be getting anywhere?? Maybe, they don’t know any other way?? You know. . . that is how their mom or dad did it, it’s what their brother or sister did, that’s how their friends do it, that’s what People magazine said to do, or google told them to do it like that - whatever it is. . . let’s try not to assume that they “should know better” – - Here’s an idea. . . how about we love them out of that cycle – take the time to enter into their life and journey with them. Make a commitment to be around them enough that they can see how you do things. Do you know someone like this??

Is that person you. . . ?

Regardless if it is or if it isn’t, we all face these issues somewhere along life’s journey. If it is in your past, then I believe that to withold such wisdom from others is a tragedy, and if it is in your present, I encourage you to pray for the courage to ask for help. . . . . . we really are all in this together – one body, I need you, and you need me. . .

WISDOM: The human capacity to view life and this world through God’s eyes

Father, today please increase our vision to see all of our circumstances through your eyes

Politics is so complicated. . . issues are so complex. . . solutions are so difficult. . . truth is difficult to discern. . . and I LOVE it!

I love the fact that amidst that “black and white” opinions out there of truth that there is soooooo much gray to explore that many people simply refuse to discuss. Our brains are wired to seek categorization/clear boundaries. . . it is incredibly comfortable isn’t it, to know for sure, I mean for sure, whether something is right or wrong. In fact many times,  like a mythological siren, it seduces us into believing that there is no worth in talking about the uncomfortable, hard to figure out gray areas.

The only problem is. . . when we christians refuse to objectively educate ourselves in the intricacies of stem cell research, homosexual civil unions vs. marriage, universal health care, war, foreign policy, education, the death penalty, illegal immigrants, etc… - then, from my recent experience,. . . we look pretty ridiculous to the outside world. I AM NOT SAYING THAT YOU HAVE TO CHANGE YOUR OPINION on things. What I am saying is that we need to be able to have an intelligent discussion about the presence of difficult gray areas in some issues, as opposed to authoratatively mandating that no such gray areas exist; which, inevitably leaves a massive wake of destruction in the very people we are supposed to be loving and giving mercy to. Unfortunately, this has been the stereotype of we, the church, for some time now (myself is sooo included in this!!!!!).

You all probably know this, but Rick Warren (author of Purpose Driven Life, Purpose Driven Church) recently sat down with both Obama and McCain asking them direct questions. I think this is fascinating, because I want to educate myself – - – not just so that I can build some fabrication of defense mechanisms/arguments the next time I talk politics with someone, which would likely leave them feeling judged, hurt, and unacceptable for me (the church) - – - but, so I can become more educated, create more empathy, and hoan my skills of objectively considering these issues and their possible solutions.

Oh  man. . . it is tough to do sometimes, our opinions are strong. . .  our biases are steadfast. . . but I want my desire for connection with those “searching” to be greater than all of my opinions – I believe that objective discussion is NOT justification of false truth or being a traitor, objective discussion is an opportunity for relevant connection. In a time where we, the church, appear to be entirely irrelevant to much of our society – what an opportunity this is to reawaken the power of relating to others through simple conversation. People may not want to talk about church, Jesus, God, but the economy, education, the war. . . sure. . . let’s chat. . . and let’s see how God will love others through our simple conversations.

I hope this has started a fire or two inside of you. . . I know that it has in me :). Let’s journey together in this. . . Here is the link to all of the video responses by Obama and McCain – enjoy this year’s race of the presidency. . . this is one place to start. . .

http://links.mkt1031.com/servlet/MailView?ms=MTc2MjgxS0&r=NjM1MDQyNTI3S0&j=NjMxMTQxNgS2&mt=1&rt=0

We know from research that students actually learn more from teachers that they actually LIKE ~ especially in Junior High, High school, and College. We also know that first impressions are critical in establishing likeability early in a relationship. . . so, today is the first full-day of classes here at Bethel College. Keeping those two things in mind – what am I going to do today. . .?

1. I decide first and foremost that I am always going to choose to influence rather than impress

   – this means that I am going to try as hard as I can to establish my credibility through authentic honesty rather than put on the facade of perfection

2. I remember that I am me. . . no one else. . . just me. . . my strengths and my weaknesses, because you know what. . . all of my students yearn desparately to be themselves. . . with their strengths and weaknesses. . . wishing that were enough to be accepted.  If they see it in me first – there is a greater chance that over the next four months they will entertain the possibility that the way God made them is not a mistake, it IS good enough, and being authentic to their shape is the fastest way grow true community.

3. I establish relevancy of my material

   – Memory research clearly has shown that people will not remember much if anything at all unless it can relate somehow to their own life story. Our brains are wired up to remember things that are beneficial to us, so I must establish that through teaching my content through their context. . . and yes. . . that IS hard to do, but. . .STEP IT UP,  I have decided that the measuring stick of my vocation is not what I teach, but what THEY LEARN – so I work hard. . . it is worth it!

4. I invite God to do His thing. I show this video (“fix you” – the link below) developed a couple of years ago, by my very talented friend Corey Mann, and follow it up with open-ended questions to get them talking like What stood out to you? Why would I, a psychologist, show you that – and then just listen to the work that the real TEACHER is doing. . .

VIDEO BELOW

Fix you

I am off to teach . . . YIPEEEEE!!

So, I am going to try something new. . . sometimes I take a picture of my kids that is just priceless (of course, I am biased = this is my youngest son, Dakota), now I could blog a million different directions with this picture. . . what would you do?

Here is the challenge: write in the comments what you would do (e.g., title and a couple sentence direction) if you were to blog about this series of pictures?? Let’s have some fun with this one

I was talking to a Bethel student yesterday – just catching up on summers – when I was re-awakened to the audacity of love that Christ calls us to.

Have you ever been to Amsterdam? the red light district there? Pretty crazy place . . . to say the least.

My  friend had a layover in Amsterdam on his way back from a mission trip to India a couple of weeks ago, and he and his Dad (a pastor) as well as another young lady on the mission trip. . . prayed, listened, thought about it, and decided to take a risk. They decided they would pay for a prostitute. . . and then love and listen to her for the time they paid. It took them a few to find one that spoke English, but she said she was pretty expensive. . . how expensive? how about 150 Euros – you know what that is in dollars:

for 20 minutes . . .

Right when they were talking to her some other man came in “service” and so she asked my friends to just wait, and she would be right back – 20 minutes later, as if nothing had happened, she was ready to take a walk with them to a nearby restaurant where they treated her to a really nice dinner. You may be wondering . . . what did she say?. . . what happened next? She was lonely. . . searching. . . just wanting to tell her story. . . sound familiar to anyone?? Isn’t this a repeat of what I spoke about in the homeless blog a couple of days ago and Walter the Farmer? . . . isn’t this a repeat of the story of almost everyone who does not know the true, unconditional, nonjudgmental love of Jesus -

Do you know someone who is broken like this?. . .

we should. . .

shame on us if we don’t. . .

we can all love those who love us, we can all love those who are clean, friendly, have the same values, wear the same clothes, and go to the same church/school/job as us, but I really don’t think we truly know if we are even capable of loving until we are faced with someone we don’t want to love.

When was the last time you spent $250 dollars on a 20-minute conversation with someone the church too often despises – it is a risk. . . a pastor, his son, and a friend – - oh, it is a risk alright. . . not sure what your “risk” is – maybe it IS money, like my friend . . . maybe it is your time, maybe it is your image, whatever it is – take a risk today and see what God does . . .

Peace

10. Kids eat free on Tuesday nights (2 per adult)

9. Kids eat free on Saturday nights (2 per adult)

8. Though there is nothing spectacular, there is a lot of variety, and the food is good enough

7. They have really cool Rocket ship cups right now for the kids

6. The Rocket ship cups are strong enough to withstand nuclear fallout, so our dishwasher shouldn’t be an issue

5. They have “the claw” – which our kids love to play with (though they have never really seen how it “works” – ignorance is bliss)

4. They seem to get the rights to Disney characters 10 years after the movie (we saw some Nemo stuff)

3. The workers don’t care if your kids act up

2. Neither do the other customers

1. At least we assume #2 is the case, personally, we have never seen any other customers

Have you ever had moments when you look back on your life and laugh outloud at certain moments in your past. . . whether or not they were funny at the time. For instance, my dad used to wake up me and my two brothers at 6 am on Saturday mornings in the summer time to go and work outside in our garden (we had a huge garden ~ acre, more like a small farm ). The funny thing was that he would be all smiles as he burst into our room nearly shouting “WE’RE BURNING DAYLIGHT BOYS, WE’RE BURNING DAYLIGHT” – of course we would moan and groan in futility, but an hour later we were outside working our butts off, and usually laughing about something - having a good time.

This morning was one of those mornings - - Every year all of the block students (around 300-400 students) do a community service project day (half in the morning, half in the afternoon) as part of their freshman orientation. For several years now we have descended like a hoard of locusts onto riverpark off of Main Street in Mishawaka, and done everything from weed it all of it by hand, to spread mulch, to move rocks, etc…

This year was a whole new level. . . They dammed up and drained the entire park area so that it could be “cleaned” of all of the trash and sludge that had built up in the past year. Armed with hand scrappers, snow shovels, and other various shoveling equipment, a big group of us attacked the sludge!!!

Was is hard work. . . yes. . . did we have to get up early to get out there. . . yes. . . was it what anybody really wanted to do when they rolled out of bed this morning. . . no. . . Did it smell. . . c’mon, what do you think?  Most importantly. . . did we have fun. . . WE HAD A BLAST!! We were covered in “muck“, we were hot, we smelled something fierce, we were thirsty, and we didn’t know eachother, but I think we were all laughing most of the morning – just yelling and being silly, acting like Lord of the Rings going into battle with our snow-shovel-shields, - getting dirty like my 16 month can only dream of – good times. . . As Mark Beeson would say, we were making memories – great memories. Somewhere between students getting snipered by a conceiled raise of concrete, releasing a jolting aaauugh, and watching 3 overworked city workers be able to take a morning off. . . God showed up. . . . . . . . and obligation turned into opportunity. . . and we didn’t look back. . .

Can’t attitude sometimes change almost everything??

I challenge us all today to do three things:

1. Remember that God owns everything and that we are stewards of His creation

2. Think of ourselves less often today

3. Willingly accept a job that most people would consider “beneath” them

Peace be with you all -

Well, today is a big day – Elliana started Montessouri this morning – she is sooo cute – these pictures of her with her backpack were from this morning. She was so hyper this morning that she did not even want to eat breakfast, which for her. . . that’s a big deal. She will do great I’m sure, but it provided me with some empathy for all of the parents I talked to over the weekend that were leaving their “little” boys and girls with me at College. . . I met all the parents of my block students this weekend, and we prayed for their children and the journey that they are beginning.  Not going to lie. . . there were quite a few tears from the parents. . . this IS a big deal and I do not take it lightly. It is a true privelege to be entrusted with others’ children to help them along their own adventures. By partnering with God, my goal in my classrooms is nothing less than true transformation – I know, it’s a high goal, a big mountain in front of me, but I learned long ago – that instead of telling God how big this mountain is. . . I need to trust and tell the mountain how big my God is –   

If you teach. . . anything. . . to anyone. . . remember the mantle that is upon us as educators – teach well, live well, model well, and be grateful that we do not have to search for a way to influence the young minds of this generation. . . it is our vocation. Be inspired to be the educator that guides students down a new road this year – Isaiah 43:18-19 Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it? There it is! I’m making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands. – The message

Peace be with you

So, had orientation for the block students this past weekend at Bethel. Block is an amazing program where each and every freshman gets put into a “block” with around 20 other students. There are also two upperclassman that serve as block mentors. These mentors do just that, they set up outside activities for these 20 students to get to know each other doing everything from bible studies to video scavenger hunts to cooking breakfast for our morning class. . . during class . As a block we (the students and two professors who co-teach two classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays) do community service projects together and go on a couple of trips together throughout the Fall semester. There’s more here – feel free to ask questions if you want.

One of the best things about block, is that the freshman get here 5 days before the other students and get to hang out and do things before everyone else arrives. For example, yesterday we all went to Chicago together to hang out for 5 hours – Bethel sends all the blocks up in separate Charter buses, gives us money for dinner (we made reservations at Giordano’s!!!), and says go have fun – see you in 5 hours!!! Good times. Well, I always like to throw in something memorable during this time. So, this is how it played out. . .

Me and about 6 students were going down Michigan Street passing homeless people left and right. . . after about the 6 one, I said “hey, let’s talk about this. . . Everyone has to make a decision. . . everytime. . . how do you decide whether to stop or not? to give or not??” —silence— “come’on there are no wrong answers. . . ” Things started flowing at that point.  Mostly familiar things like, it being their choice to be homeless, nervous, scared, just ignoring it, don’t want to give them money to go and get booze . . . etc….

Well, I have had the pleasure to have done some homeless ministry in my past, and so I asked for volunteers to go and talk with the last man that we past who had a “God is good” sign in front of him. I said only a group of 4 b/c did not want to overwhelm him. I told the group, from my experience, - “hey, we may get cussed out, he may be mentally ill, or he may be just like you and me, we don’t know. . . here we go”

This is about when God shows up, I love how He does that! -

Walter is his name, but people who know him call him Farmer  – we had a great conversation, us 4, sitting around him hogging most of the busy sidewalk. . . having church. . . . He explained that for right now God is calling him to be a reminder, a “seed” (thus, the farmer) to others that God is good, and that amidst all of the spending and hectic pace . . . God wants to remind you that He is here for you and that He is good. His story is deep and rich with times of being in prison, times of being in love, time of being rejected. . . and we listened. . . just listened. We prayed for Walter, the farmer, and he prayed for us. . . our time was up – and we moved back into the “field” with our new seeds .

Of course the other students in our group that did not go and see Walter were wondering WHAT HAPPENED!!!, so we talked it out. Great discussion!! For everyone. . . you have to decide. . . it could have been all a polished story. . . a con. . . or it could have been truth. . . several of us prayed silently for a discerning spirit while talking to Walter, but we did not get a “for sure” answer – — – - oh, and then the big one. . . what if it was true. . . ?? would God really call someone to be homeless!!! to dig through trash cans, chase down garbage trucks, and sleep over sewer caps to stay warm. . . would my God really do that???

How do you decide?

One thing I know . . . we all have stories to share. . . and Walter just wanted to tell his story. In his prayer to us, he thanked us several time for just coming and “entering into his loneliness” bringing a moment of life and joy and acceptance. We told Walter that we would be back in an hour with leftovers from Giordano’s. . . he was waiting for us, and we gave him 7 boxes of 2 pieces each – not all for him of course. . . but so that he could he could do what he does best. . . provide nourishment, afterall he is the Farmer, he already knows how to do this - he had already done it for us -

Thanks Farmer

This concept was brought up by our Wedsnesday night speaker pastor Scott (sorry I forgot the last name) from the The Chapel church in Grayslake Illinois. The idea of Practicial Atheism is that though 73% of people this part of the country profess to believe in the God of the Bible (not just any god, but the one true God), only about 6% are involved in a local ministry of some sort. Here is the main point of what Practical Atheism is :

Though we may believe in God we act and live as if we don’t. . . let me say that again, though many of us say that we believe in God, we totally act as if we don’t. This greatly worries me, b/c I don’t know which is more dangerous, someone who is adamentally opposed to God or someone who claims to be a Christ-follower, but nothing in his/her actions is carrying out that belief. This of course, is very synonomous with what the bible calls “Lukewarm”, which God seems to detest the most.

Hey, I know you have probably heard this before, but has anything changed. . . ? Are we concerned more with our happiness or our holiness? Notice, I am including myself here, I am as guilty as anyone, but I am tired of wasting the opportunities that God puts in front of me DAILY to serve him and bring Up there Down here. So, God I pray that you somehow give us the motivation, the passion, and the courage to do what you are calling us today to do. Please give us the patience to wait on you daily with our ears and our hearts seeking your still small voice. Thank you for your faithfulness to us, and your passion for all people. Amen.

So, I am back from our 2.5 day retreat at Oakwood Park in Syracuse, IN, where I did not have internet access. Sorry for the lack up updates, but there were a lot of great things that I experienced and learned that I will share with you guys over the next couple of days. Let me just say this as I run out of my office to go and see my wife and kids – Bethel College is a special place. . . a very special place, and I am honored to work here.  A lof of people ask, what makes Bethel so different? and while there are many ways to answer this question – let me leave you with this. . . Today is one week before classes start. . . and already, through the faculty and staff’s committment, every single bed on campus has been prayed over, ever seat in the auditorium has been prayed over, and some students. . . that’s right, students, have come back early and prayed have prayed over all of the athletic courts and fields!

We believe in and are committed to working towards transformation here. All truth is God’s truth, and I, as a faculty member blessed to be able to teach some of that truth – this is going to be a great year!!

Some of you may know Corey Mann, some of you don’t, but he is someone that I deeply cherish in my life, and today he turns 39. We met by working together on Youth Ministry at Granger Community Church, when I felt God telling me to tell him that I was supposed to be a volunteer on his team -  I know, I’m sure it might of come off as a bit more cocky of an approach than the normal “hi, I am interested in volunteering.” Both of our lives have changed a lot in the past 6 years, but some of my most cherished memories are with Corey.

10. He is growing his hair out to be a mullet by his 40th birthday

9. He can take his shirt off in under a minute

8. When God speaks to him, he actually listens

7. He is very appreciative and grateful – always quick with the thank you cards

6. He truly values face to face time

5. He always wants to improve – his marriage, his work, his family, his relationship with God

4. He has a ridiculous knowledge of both Comic Book characters and 80’s bands

3. He served God in amazing ways during his 5 years of full-time ministry

2. and has not let up. . .

1. He lets me journey through life with him – thank you

So, there were a couple of things that I couldn’t get out of my head pertaining to this weekend’s message with Rob Wegner (see it here: www.gccwired.com ). One key phrase that really hit me was -

Being Addicted to Approval - I think we all seek approval through others, in fact that is part of our natural way of gaining self-esteem and confidence; however, the key there is that it should only be a “part” of how we do this. The amazing thing is that it too often becomes the ONLY way that we find worth. Just some thoughts and let me know what you think about them – there are some common things in ALL addictions:

the HIGH: how good it really feels to have someone laugh at our jokes or wit – even smiling at us, giving us thanks, loving us when we get good grades, do well at work, win the game, or just any approval whatsoever

the CRASH: when the high feeling runs out and you sink down lower than where you were before the high even came – or maybe you tried really hard to get approval – to get those grades, to be the perfect employee, to win that competition, to not mess up . . . and nothing. . . I mean you get nothing in return – you feel worse off than before – maybe embarrassed, feeling stupid, betrayed, or any number of negative emotions

TOLERANCE: your body’s or mind’s amazing ability to adjust to the incoming drug’s “high” resulting in a constant need for more and more of the substance/experience that leads to an insatiable craving. How true this is for other’s approval of us. . . how addicting other’s laughter can become for us, their smiles, their praise, their conditional love. . . my experience is that this craving is soooo strong sometimes that in an instant we can say or do things that we would “never” do – just to get a positive reaction of some sort. sometimes our craving leads us to push beyond our normal standards of integrity just to fill an empty spot inside of us, just for an instant to try and “prove” to ourselves that we are liked and accepted.

This is one of the great things about Christ that I love – over and over in the bible he talks about his Father’s unconditional love for us, for no logical reason.

As Rob talked about, this can all be related to Trapeze artists. We are the flyers and God is the catcher. The role of the flyer is simply to LET GO and STRETCH OUT AS FAR AS THEY CAN then they just wait for the catcher to catch them. Letting go is tough, but I think waiting for God to catch us is the hardest part  – no matter what we are dealing with, trusting that God will catch us when we let go (usually scared to death when we do) is tough, real tough. . .but it is worth it, b/c God always, always catches us, and if we never let go, . . . well, we always swing back to the exact same place we were – no progress. Let us all let go of something today and stretch out as far as we can. . . the catcher is ready and WILL be there!

This is my beautiful wife, yes I know. . . I married wwwaaayyy up. I don’t think I could be any more proud of her right now. I’m sure as the blogs come you will learn more of her amazing story, but today, I am just smiling at the thought that she is successfully making the transition from being a very gifted licensed mental health counselor for 6 years, full-time, to being home full-time with the kids (4, 3, and 1),

grateful

while also wanting to vomit all day long (1st trimester of pregnancy. . . always fun!); AND she does this without complaining. . . are you kidding me! Thank you God for giving me such a godly woman to journey through life with.

Can I just say that I love just chillin with my kids – Praise God that for some reason He gave Ang and I the responsibility of being parents !

I enjoy reading blogs, and you will see that some of the ones that I follow I have links to. I enjoy people’s stories, because the psychologist in me loves to see how God moves in and through other people. Some people ecouraged me to start my own. . . why? I thought, aren’t there plenty out there?? I’ll just cut to the chase. . . this blog is not for me or even my family, it is a reflection of the story that God is writing in and through me – I hope that others will journey along with me and my family on this adventure, but in the end – it is all about giving God glory. I have lots of unique thoughts and insights (or so I think) throughout the day – too often I forget them. I love trying to figure out what God is doing with me. I have so much to learn. . . and I can’t wait – here we go