I had breakfast this morning with my best friend, Corey Mann, and it had been way to long. . . .

slightly confused

something came up that has recently been on my heart . . . .  so . . . asking permission to speak freely. . . . . . I assume you just gave it to me . . . . . . we’re friends now right? . . . .

1.  Why do we have an obsession with black and white?  No, I’m not talking about a racial issue here (that will be some other post). No, what I’m talking about is our incessant need to have black and white answers for things. . . . . . and then. . . . once we have such a clear “for sure” answer. . . . . . we move on assuming that there is nothing more about that topic that needs discussion. . . . . that there is no need to waste time or energy learning more about an issue that has already been “decided“, as if COMING TO A CONCLUSION AND THEN VOICING THAT AS LOUDLY AS POSSIBLE IS THE ONLY REASON FOR LEARNING ABOUT ON ISSUE. . . maybe,. . . . . .just MAYBE,  WE SHOULD LEARN ABOUT THINGS SO THAT WE CAN LISTEN and LOVE BETTER ——Let me voice why, I think, missing this principle - is really wounding the church right now——- 

      One example is . .  . . . Abortion is wrong, absolutely wrong, always. . . . always.  So, the issue that I am talking about is NOT whether or not you think this statement is true, but rather. . . . so what?. . . .  - unfortunately, for many christians. . . . we often think – “well, there you have it – no need to learn more about this issue, the technicalities or anything – all we have to do is just repeat over and over and over how bad abortion is. . . that will just convince everyone” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Let me ask something. . . . which one does God’s heart break more for?  – the aborted baby (who I believe is now in heaven), or. . . . the mother who aborted the baby?. . . . . . . . you obviously no my opinion. . . . and how does our black/white, don’t think about it anymore, don’t listen to the other side stance come across to these mothers?. . . . . .

I have heard countless stories of mothers who have aborted children who will stay as far away from Christians and churches as possible b/c of the pure hatred they feel raining down on them in the presence of Christians. . . . A Christian may say – Yeah, abortion is totally wrong. . . period. . .  – and the mother is thinking . . . . .  wow, ok. . . obviously they think I’m an idiot – you think it is so simple – do you understand the struggles and agony that I went through when trying to decide. . . . the lack of support from family and friends. . . the father. . . . money . . and the church. . . I couldn’t even process this with Christians b/c the minute I said . . . “this is tough, I am having trouble with  keeping this baby “- they condemened me, by closing their ears to my struggle, trying only to persuade. . . even years later. . . . seriously. . . . even years later. . . as if I have not heard that before. . . they pierce me with their unsympathetic eyes. . . . so deep. . . . so painful  - – - do you have any idea that all I want is to be loved and not labelled?, . . . someone to listen to me and not to lecture me? . . . someone to care about me, and not just my mistakes? . . . everytime you say those things “so matter of fact” - it makes me feel worse and worse, dumber and dumber – more and more worthless, . . . Just because I made a mistake – doesn’t mean I am one. . . right. . . . . right? . . . or does it. . . . that is all I feel from you people – no love – no acceptance – no forgiveness – just condemnation. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . it is about here that my heart breaks . . . . completely breaks. . . . . . . . . I just hate it when our actions feed into the enemy’s plan for destroying the human soul. . . . shame, guilt, condemnation, worthlessness, hopelessness. . . . the enemy can use all of them so well. . . . . . . .

I know most people don’t even mean to do this – they are just sharing a belief. . . . I just think we can do better. . . what if these mothers heard the message of our love for them long before they heard our disapproval of their actions. . . . they’re not going to come to us for love. . . . we must go to them. . .

 I AM NOT SAYING WE CHANGE OUR BELIEFS, BUT WE NEED TO CHANGE OUR EXPRESSION OF THEM. . . . . . . . b/c we may be changing some governmental policies, BUT WE’RE LOSING SOULS!. . . . . . . and that just really makes me mad. . . . because I want everyone to come home!. . . . and you know what. . . if these mother’s are not feeling that. . . . IT IS . . . OUR FAULT. . . . . . . I know we can do better church. . . . . let’s show love first. . . . .