Have you been grazing spiritually lately. . . . OR. . . .Have you recently had a mountain top experience of some sort? – Feeling pretty confident about you spiritual life and your ability to impact people who are hurting and broken? Be careful!!!! You are now more dangerous than ever to the enemy, and you better believe that he is lurking like a lion (1 Peter 5:8) – and he is going to try and bring you down as soon as possible. . . . . are you married? (it doesn’t matter for how long). . . . then let’s talk, because within marriage lies one of the most commonly used attacks of the devil . . . why? – because, unfortunately, it works a lot of the time!

First warning. . . if you think this doesn’t apply to you, and that there really is no need to read this. . . . . I really don’t know why God will ever tell you that. . . .so, you might want to check the source of that thought – AND keep reading! You also might want to pray that God be with you as you read. . . . once again, if that sounds like a ridiculous thing to do?? . . . . . . . that’s not coming from God. . . do it – get Him involved.

First let’s talk about some basic characteristics of the enemy – I recommend you watch the weekend service from Granger Community Church from this past weekend (3/8/09) entitled “Sex for Sale” – watch it here (www.gccwired.com)  – where Mark Beeson explains the 3 hats of satan

Hat #1 – Tempter – trying to sell you lies like -  “this (whatever act the temptation involves) is not that bad. . . noone will know. . . and it doesn’t matter anyway, because it’s not that wrong . . . you can totally handle it. . . other people, stupid people, get caught – but your not stupid. . . . . it’s just this one time. . . . . just a little bit won’t hurt” – and after every step that you take, the enemy tempts you with the next one – and notice. . . . it is usually a slow/gradual process.

Hat #2 – Promoter – after he has tempted you he then tries to sell you lies like “this is going to be the best ever. . . . so fulfilling, it’s going to feel so good – you will feel so taken care of, so complete, so alive, so. . . . . . right – this is what you have been missing out on for soooo long!”

Hat#3 – Accuser – after you have commited the sinful act, he then tries to sell you lies like “I can’t believe you did THAT. . . you are horrible!!! – your toast now – God will never take you back. . . . might as well not even fight it – just give in all the way. . . you can’t resist it . . . you’ve already proven that!. . . . it will never go away. . . there is nothing you can do!. . . you knew it was wrong, but you did it anyway – that is the worst of the worst – not even God wants you back now!”

Let me be very clear. . .satan is the father of lies (John 8:44), which means. . . all he does is tell lies. . . so, these “hats” are ALL LIES – every single one!!

So, what does this have to do with you?

So, what is your weak spot when comes to your marriage?? What do you feel like your spouse is not giving you enough of?? especially things that you think you deserve?? Here is a quick list of some of  these maybe

1. Sex

2. Quality time together . . . that they actually WANT to spend

3. being valued and appreciated for all that you do

4. Sharing an emotional connection – talking about things that are close to your heart. . . . EVEN YOUR FAITH!

5. Passion, desire, adventure, fun

6. A sense of peace (or lack of tension)

etc….

HAVE NO DOUBT IN YOUR MIND that this area of resentment in your life has a huge bullseye painted on it – and it is going to be attacked by the enemy using Hat #1 and Hat#2 above

and if you don’t already have one – there may be someone entering into your life that just “happens” to provide an opportunity to have that resentment fulfilled. . . . . it’s called a strategy. . . and the enemy has been perfecting it for thousands of years!

The question then, reagarding our behavior, is NOT what is right and what is wrong – the question is what standard are you going to hold yourself to -  so as to be the brightest light possible for God’s kingdom – bring Him the most Glory – form the most solid Family – to be an inspiration for your friends/children/grandchildren. . . . . . because they will know, and they are watching. . . . . and in order prevent this, you need to have behavioral guidelines that will protect you from the lies of the enemy. . . especially the one that tells us that this is “really not a big deal”, and that “you can handle it”

Here are some questions to ask yourself (rate each one on a scale of 0-5 – with 0 being “no, not me at all” and 5 being “yes, that is me most of the time”):

1. Am I sharing more of my thoughts/feelings with someone else (of the opposite sex) than I am with my wife/husband?

2. Have I been thinking and getting excited about how I can see someone else (of the opposite sex) a little more often – even if it is with a larger group?

3. Am I, or could I be,  the major spiritual force in someone else’s (of the opposite sex) life right now – turning them towards Christ?

4. Do I have SOME excitement and/or attraction to someone else (of the opposite sex) when we physically touch in a supposed “neutral” way? – hand shakes, welcoming/parting hugs, a touch on the shoulder, arm, or knee, etc…

ok . . . Tally your points. . .

-

- if you have a total of 1 or more then you need to understand that you are most likely being attacked spiritually. . . AND. . . you are losing. . . . . . now what??!

1. Remember that some of the most effective “sells” of the enemy is that “this is not a problem – completely harmless”, and “you can totally handle it on your own.”

2. Remember that Paul tells us in the Bible to RUN from sexual sin and temptation (1 Cor 6:18) – so that means you need to stop cold turkey/put distance between you and him/her, STOP communication

3. This path to sexual sin is most often a very SLOW one – with gradual steps that you hardly notice . . . . it is a slow fade

4. Think about what kind of legacy/model you want for you, your marriage, your children, and grandchildren. . . . because they will remember these types of things forever!

5. Know that in this struggle, you have an opportunity to get even closer to God (who is strong enough to help you through this) and have a witness of strength. . . . . or become one of many who have sinned in this way only to hide and decay in shame and agony – saying to themselves “I don’t know how this happened. . . . . ”

6. Finally, know that sexual sin starts when you even lustfully (not just sex, but also companionship, etx…) think about somone else. . . . many of us have traveled down that path at some point – to differeing degrees. Repenting/confessing/being real with God wipes it all clean – from the one-time lustful thought to the full-fledged adulterous lifestyle that someone has lived for years. Don’t ever believe the lie that God won’t take you back (hat #3 above). . . . . . In fact, you may be reading this post for the exact reason of God desparately wanting you back . . . He’s just waiting on you to ask. . . . . . . . ask Him back in. . . and WHATEVER you have done. . . He is ready – right now -  willing AND capable, to help you turn this thing around. . .