I recently had a Bethel student – who was recalling going through some very difficult times – say that “handling adversity is the measure of a man.”

So, how are we doing men??

When our brothers, sisters, bosses, friends, or wives do something that frustrates us – how do we handle that?

Do we seek first to understand and serve even more before blowing up and trying to “control” the situation?? You know the bible talks about how we are supposed to love our wives like Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). You know how much crap some people in the global “Church” has done in the name of God – I am talking about horrific things – I mean people have been hurt emotionally, spiritually, even killed in the name of God . . . and you think your person has been doing it to you for a long time – some people have been misusing God’s word for hundreds of years.  but when has Jesus ever said “alright that’s it – no more forgiving. . . you know what. . . . I’m not going to love you anymore, I’m no longer going to serve you, no longer going to listen to your prayers, or give you any my time – you don’t deserve it!”. . . . never!

We don’t deserve that type of grace, and maybe our wives, our bosses, our children, our fathers, our friends, or whomever in our life doesn’t deserve it either. . . . . . . . . . . BUT, how you handle those situations/relationships truly is the MEASURE OF A MAN.

Oh, I have seen it many times in adults too. . . . A man can hide behind childish things like throwing fits, walking out, kicking other people out, not talking anymore, locking people out of rooms, avoiding it, ignoring it, drinking, always blaming the other person, never taking responsibility, being filled with pride, belittling or insulting others. . . even our wives in public!, refusing to listen, etc. . . . . -

The bible says that in our anger we should not sin (Ephesians 4:26-27 ) because it gives the devil a foothold in our lives. . . . so where do you think the devil is going to try and attack you and your life? One place for sure will be through your anger. . . the moments when you are seeking control over the situation or the person, but in reality- by becoming angry and childish . . . you have already turned away from self-control (i.e., a fruit of the Spirit). I know this is difficult – especially when you throw in all the other stresses in our lives that are weighing down on us. This is precisely the reason why how we deal with it is such a great measure. . . .
 

And all of this. . . . will show to our children, our wives (present or future), our grandchildren, our sons-in-law and daughters-in-law, our parents, and our friends what we are really made of. . . . how we handle adversity/conflict/difficult times. . . is the meausre of a man. . . . . . it is difficult, but don’t be passive like Adam in the garden watching Eve eat the fruit without saying anything!!!! that attitude of passivity/just letting things be how they always have been – will forever be one of our greatest temptations men! BE DIFFERENT . . . FIGHT FOR THE STANDARD OF LOVE THAT JESUS CHALLENGED US WITH- Let’s step up. . . let’s stop being little boys. . . and start being the men that God created us to be!! . . . Yes, you CAN get there. . . . . and if you don’t know really where to start – try praying this prayer first:

Father, I know that I have messed up, again, – you know all of the childish things that I do when I don’t feel loved or valued – when the people that I want love from the most don’t give it to me. You know that I have tried to stop doing some of these things from time to time, and it just never seems to work. So, I am just asking with all that I am that you transform me in some way so that when tough stuff comes – I will be able to respond in a way that would make you smile and be proud of me. . . I have no idea how to actually make that happen – I need you to show me – to teach me – please help me find a way Father. . .In Jesus’ name. . . Amen.