As Christ-followers, we want our children to be able to try and understand what GRACE means as early as possible in their lives. Grasping this concept not only helps them understand the heart of God, but it will help protect them from one of the biggest lies of the enemy, which basically is – you are what you do. . . . . if you make a mistake – you are a mistake. . . . and you are only worthy of love if you do great things ~ the religion of performance.
Some recent insights:
1. Lie/expectation that the world teaches us: that if we give our kids the best of who we are we will always feel loved by them, and get their best in return. . . how many of you know that is not how it works – at least not in the short run. You see. . . . kids are often times on their “best behavior” around other people, and then forget about things like manners, being nice, and respectful when around their own parents/siblings. Not unlike why many spouses get the left-overs of their spouse when they are at home, because there it is safe to be tired, stressed, and cranky. Do not let how your child treats you sometimes to determine your joy as a parent nor your measure of whether or not your child knows they are loved.
2. God says – me too: It is at this point that I feel even closer to God, because that is exactly what we do to Him – He easily gave His best for us – several times throughout history, and of course the greatest being His own son for us. . . . and yet we often times give Him our left-overs, our worst – our inauthentic praise, extra money at the end of the month, sour attitudes, complaining tongues, shortest memories of his blessings, least amount of trust, and shortest patience.
3. Always remember: Modeling in relationships is one of the most powerful ways that our children learn anything about relationships. . . . even more than what we tell them. That being said, there is no way to model grace to our children without us being treated unfairly or badly by them. Their mistreatment of us opens the door of opportunity for us to show grace to them. . . it is at this point of receiving what they do not deserve, without strings attached, that brings the awareness of God’s heart = unconditional love.
Keep loving your children of all ages well 
Here is a topic that I am pretty passionate about, and I especially get amped up for this discussion in my Adolescent Growth & Development class because I hear so many teens wanting to talk about it and so many adults too scared to discuss it with them??? To which I say. . . WHAT!!!! – A.) The teen actually wants to talk and B.) they are actually open to your guidance on an issue. . . . and we, as adults, are too scared to engage – ahhhh!!!. . . . and it is not just teens – children and adults too – Church. . . .we must do better.
Anyways, I want to share just briefly a few things that have helped clarify some of the issues in my class discussions, and also a couple of videos that have been great for discussion.
First of all, this is not a religion or philosophy class, and so I do not debate the sin nature of homosexuality in class because that is what most of the students expect – a debate about what is the TRUTH. . . . consequently, in my experience, that is the only thing the students are prepared to take about. We take the stance of many churches – that homosexual behavior is a sin. . . and we go from there (I have additional materials for the students about the “truth” debate if they want it, and the subject is covered in more detail in other ways here at Bethel). . . it is amazing to me; however, that many people cannot even think past this truth concept – to see that there are other very important issues about this topic that we are failing to address.
Another way of viewing my purpose is to look at a familar phrase:
Truth in love (Eph 4:15) - Once again, not messing with the truth part – that is definitely a huge part of how Jesus was uncommon, but the “in love” – which is an expression of “how” we are to express the truth – that is what made him a walking revolution - he was revolutionary not just for what he said but for what he did - healing on the Sabbath, touching the leper, going to Matthew’s house, talking to the woman at well, and associating with prostitutes! He chose to not condemn the world, but to save it (John 3:17). . . which starts with forming a relationship with someone, getting to know someone before we could ever share “truth” about heated issues.
In my experience, when people focus only on the truth in these situations then judgement/condemnation is already on its way – and can be felt by those around them. However, when I focus on the “in love” then judgement stays away, and the other person is more open to talking because they trust that I care about them. . . not just their sexuality. . . – I refuse to live in a way that reduces the immense/Jesus sacrificing value of another human being’s life and experience to simply an alterior motive and/or a grossly stereotyped label. . . and I think Jesus models that behavior over and over in scripture.
Videos:
Interesting dichotomies here to notice in these videos:
Acceptance vs Approval - we use these terms interchangeably at times with regard to this issue, and yet these terms are critically different.
Attitude vs Belief- Again, attitudes may change without changes in beliefs. . . .misusing these terms can cause serious wounds.
Watch this video to get a fresh look at “hate the sin, love the sinner”. . . one of the most popular Christian phrases regarding this issue.
OK – don’t give me a hard time . . . I know that it is March, and I am just now posting our letter and video – sorry about that. I was in a cave for around 4 months – but better later than never right
We spend quite a bit of time on our letter, because we feel that having clear, intentional communication is very important – especially when you KNOW that people are going to be reading it. We just feel like this is yet another opportunity that God gives us each year to give Him glory by sharing the story of the past year as witnesses to what God is up to in our lives. So, here is the letter that we wrote and the video recap of our multiple celebrations!!!
THE LETTER:
The adventure continues 2009
Philippians 4:6: “do not be anxious about anything, but through prayer and petition submit everything to God, and He will give you a peace that passes all understanding.”
What a wonderful year this has been full of so much adventure. The year had such a difficult beginning with the loss of Ted’s aunt and uncle (Phil and Louie Rieman). They were such tremendous servants of peace and love, dedicated to trying to bring the Kingdom of God to everyone they encountered. They are greatly missed –
Inspired by their legacy and the injustices witnessed through his trip to India, Ted began a journey to grow greenLockers (www.greenlockers.org – his non-profit organization) this past year, and God continues to bless the project with over 17 schools participating producing 9,000 lbs of supplies, which were given to 23 different charities in the area, as well as to orphans in Mexico and India. Ted continues to love teaching and mentoring students at Bethel, and has been humbled and honored by the influence that he holds on campus and in our community.
Angela feels privileged to be at home enjoying the little moments each day with the kids. She continues to equip psychology students teaching at Bethel one night a week. With a passion for family and fulfilling relationships, she loves getting to mentor several young women on campus as well as developing new curricula for the premarital counseling seminars at our Church.
As blessed as we feel with all of that, it pales in comparison to the newest addition to our family. Dane Justice Bryant was loaned to us on 3.3.09, and our lives have been enriched ever since. He is such a good boy with his favorite activities including pulling himself up on anything he can grab onto, and trying to sneak away from us to crawl as fast as he can to the dog food and water bowls!! J. Elliana, Kya, and Dakota are great with him – they love him so much!
Elliana started Kindergarten this year. . . she is growing up way too fast (ok, now I sound old J). Her and Kya both love their new public Montessori school that they are attending. Dakota gets to have some great time with Mommy and baby Dane in the morning, and he loves to “read” books.
Amidst the planning, and efforts to raise kids well, fulfill responsibilities at work, church, and in our community. . . . we were interrupted in September of this year. Since we know God loves interrupting our lives (i.e., look back at our track history the past 10 years), we decided to listen. What we heard was a call to help the broken children all around us by becoming a foster family. We have completed the paperwork and begin training early next year, with our first placement probably happening in March sometime. . . . the adventure continues J. We are excited and nervous, but have decided – like most of the rest of this year – to live in Phil. 4:6. God has got our back, and so we are committed to love boldly in the opportunities He places before us.
We love you all so much, and are incredibly blessed to have you in our lives. We hope and pray that you and your families have the opportunity to love, and be loved, like never before this Christmas season!! Peace & love to all!
THE VIDEO
Christmas celebration 2009 from Ted Bryant on Vimeo.
So, we are in the middle of a parenting series at Church (GCC – you can follow this link to watch the full service), and this past weekend really made an impact on Ang and I. Mark Beeson encouraged us think about the vision, mission, and values of our family. Now, Ang and I had thought about doing this before, and there have even been a few times in the past few years that we actually set aside time to work on this. . . . . and . . . . nothing happened – something came up, . . . we just weren’t feeling like it that day, etc….. – you might have had similar days/thoughts.
So, chalk this up to a way in which becoming foster parents has already made us more intentional parents – we no longer have any time to linger in figuring this out. Don’t get me wrong, . . . I feel like Ang and I communicate well, and are on the same page 99% of the time when it comes to parenting, but that reality is not an excuse for not thinking through these concepts and getting them on paper. The way that I see it – it will only improve our parenting and our family as we have something that we can return to and remember where our focus is – AND it is a tremendous tool to create a COMMON LANGUAGE of intention and purpose in our family that we can pass on to our children. . . . . so, . . . yes. . . this will be hanging in our house
Here is what we have come up with
THE VISION (why do we do what we do):
The Bryant family has been given tremendous privilege, talent, resources, and heart to do great things for the Kingdom of God, and we will live to that purpose because we believe that loving other people first as Jesus does – without the worldly conditions of status, characteristics, beliefs, or past behavior – is the highest call given to us.
THE MISSION (what are the steps that we take towards the vision):
As a family we seek to always give God maximum glory by worshiping Him through all of our daily activities – regardless of the circumstances. This starts with daily submitting our priorities, attitude, time, service, and provision to the LORD. In addition to studying the truth found in the Bible, we will critically educate ourselves in the opportunities that God has placed before us and seek with great perseverance to be the best stewards of His gifts, which He has so generously poured out to us. If God’s revealed will is somehow in conflict with our own wants and levels of comfort, we will choose to “get over it” and trust Him. We refuse to believe that the greatest life that God wants for us is one of ease, but one that is full (Jn 10:10) – living at the edge of all possibility – accepting both the good days and the difficult ones. The Bryant family will always stand to fight against the enemy and his lies, and will not shrink back from the mantle of carrying the good news to ALL the world.
THE VALUES (how do we treat each other):
1. We choose truth over lying in every situation – regardless of the consequences that may follow.
2. We will treat each other with unconditional love – being accepting, respectful, and kind.
3. We will seek to serve one another before receiving.
4. We will encourage each other in every activity – choosing to build up, and never to tear down.
5. We will choose to view conflict as a tool for unification instead of division.
6. We will be grateful, not greedy.
7. We will sharpen each other to be healthy spiritually, psychologically, physically, intellectually, and socially.
8. We will generously give grace to each other – choosing forgiveness over condemnation.
9. We will try our best knowing that is all God ever asks of us no matter the result.
10. We will stand up for one another, and be there for each other no matter the sacrifice.
11. We will genuinely listen, seeking understanding not only of words but of the heart.
12. We will bring our fun with us; wherever God takes us .
- I encourage you, at whatever stage of life that you are in – to take the time to do this . . . establish your focus in life. . . it is worth the time and effort!
So, our square day (3/3/09) baby turned 1 a couple of days ago, and I just couldn’t believe how fast it happened. Ang and I love our little Daner (that’s one of our nicknames for him). He has been almost the first to do everything in his first year – including rolling over, crawling, and walking. Besides having an unbelievable grip (I have to pry his fingers off of me sometimes), he also has been very creative in how he moves around our non-carpeted floors. Basically, he will get behind almost anything that scoots (i.e., chairs, trashcans, dog, etc…), and uses them as his personal walker/transportation device to get across the room. He is currently up to about 5 steps on his own, so, I think the non-walking days are soon to be done. It has been quite an amazing adventure this year with him, and I remember going into the hospital with Ang for his birth – like it was yesterday. We pray that God continues to give us the wisdom needed to raise him (and our other children) in God-honoring ways – with a love for Jesus that will always give them the strength and courage to love others well.
Once again, I can’t believe how God continues to expand our hearts to love him so much – our other children just adore him, and Ang and I are grateful for the honor of raising Dane Justice Bryant – here is a video recap of his first year. NOW listen, I am an amateur at the whole movie making thing – so please don’t judge – these songs were specifically selected to be a prayer for our relationship with him, and how he will honor God throughout his life. He was dedicated to God this past year, and that is a commitment that Ang and I take very seriously. . . . . and we are going to have a lot of fun along the way!!
Dane’s first year video from Ted Bryant on Vimeo.
1. Dakota – “ELEPHANT!”. . . Ang – “no, it’s chicken” (Ang was putting it into the oven)
2. I’m cleaning up, and I hear Ang say in the other room to one of the kids. . . “We’re not tying your brother up tonight”. . . .
3. Kya, Elli, and I are playing soccer in the living room, and Kya is the referee trying to decide who should get the ball first. . . . coin toss? No. . . He asks – “Elli, do you like green eggs and ham”, Elliana: “Yes”, Kya – “OK your ball first” . . . . . WOW – I had no chance on that one!
4. I say “why is Dane trying to eat my ear?” . . .Ang – “he is just trying to give you a kiss” . . . Me – “are you sure? that sounds like some famous last words” . . . Ang – “yes, it is just what he has been doing today” . . . Me – “ok” . . .Dane (11months) gives me a kiss on the ear, and then . . . Me – “ouch!”. . . Dane “***laugh*” . . . .
5. 2:30 a.m. and Dakota is calling Ang from his bed. . . “MAAAAAHHHHHMMEEEEEEEE, MAAAAHHHHHMMMEEEEE” – So, Ang gets up and goes into his bedroom (Dakota sleeps on the bottom bunk, and Kya is up top), and Dakota asks Ang “Ice cream shop?” – Ang – “later”. . . Dakota “OK” and he goes back to sleep. I love how Ang didn’t even try to say “no” to Dakota’s request to have ice cream in the middle of the night, but just redirected it. . . “Brilliant”!
- the really funny thing is that this is almost every day/weekend – I love being a dad so much. It is by no means fun and games all the time, but they really do crack me up sometimes. Praise God that I get to have them in my house for a few years !
****OH, and I just heard from Ang that we have been officially liscensed as foster parents by the state!!!. We (and especially Ang) has worked so hard on this process the last 5 months, and now we just wait. . . . and keep praying for the one who will soon show up at our door, not wanting to come in, but having to – - praying that God will use us to show them love. . . unconditional love.