OK – don’t give me a hard time . . . I know that it is March, and I am just now posting our letter and video – sorry about that. I was in a cave for around 4 months – but better later than never right

We spend quite a bit of time on our letter, because we feel that having clear, intentional communication is very important – especially when you KNOW that people are going to be reading it. We just feel like this is yet another opportunity that God gives us each year to give Him glory by sharing the story of the past year as witnesses to what God is up to in our lives. So, here is the letter that we wrote and the video recap of our multiple celebrations!!!

THE LETTER:

The adventure continues 2009

Philippians 4:6: “do not be anxious about anything, but through prayer and petition submit everything to God, and He will give you a peace that passes all understanding.”

What a wonderful year this has been full of so much adventure. The year had such a difficult beginning with the loss of Ted’s aunt and uncle (Phil and Louie Rieman). They were such tremendous servants of peace and love, dedicated to trying to bring the Kingdom of God to everyone they encountered.  They are greatly missed –

Inspired by their legacy and the injustices witnessed through his trip to India, Ted began a journey to grow greenLockers (www.greenlockers.org – his non-profit organization) this past year, and God continues to bless the project with over  17 schools participating producing 9,000 lbs of supplies, which were given to 23 different charities in the area, as well as to orphans in Mexico and India. Ted continues to love teaching and mentoring students at Bethel, and has been humbled and honored by the influence that he holds on campus and in our community.

Angela feels privileged to be at home enjoying the little moments each day with the kids. She continues to equip psychology students teaching at Bethel one night a week. With a passion for family and fulfilling relationships, she loves getting to mentor several young women on campus as well as developing new curricula for the premarital counseling seminars at our Church.

As blessed as we feel with all of that, it pales in comparison to the newest addition to our family. Dane Justice Bryant was loaned to us on 3.3.09, and our lives have been enriched ever since. He is such a good boy with his favorite activities including pulling himself up on anything he can grab onto, and trying to sneak away from us to crawl as fast as he can to the dog food and water bowls!! J. Elliana, Kya, and Dakota are great with him – they love him so much!

Elliana started Kindergarten this year. . . she is growing up way too fast (ok, now I sound old J). Her and Kya both love their new public Montessori school that they are attending. Dakota gets to have some great time with Mommy and baby Dane in the morning, and he loves to “read” books.

Amidst the planning, and efforts to raise kids well, fulfill responsibilities at work, church, and in our community. . . . we were interrupted in September of this year. Since we know God loves interrupting our lives (i.e., look back at our track history the past 10 years), we decided to listen. What we heard was a call to help the broken children all around us by becoming a foster family. We have completed the paperwork and begin training early next year, with our first placement probably happening in March sometime. . . . the adventure continues J.  We are excited and nervous, but have decided – like most of the rest of this year – to live in Phil. 4:6. God has got our back, and so we are committed to love boldly in the opportunities He places before us.

We love you all so much, and are incredibly blessed to have you in our lives. We hope and pray that you and your families have the opportunity to love, and be loved, like never before this Christmas season!! Peace & love to all!

THE VIDEO

Christmas celebration 2009 from Ted Bryant on Vimeo.

So, we are in the middle of a parenting series at Church (GCC – you can follow this link to watch the full service), and this past weekend really made an impact on Ang and I. Mark Beeson encouraged us think about the vision, mission, and values of our family. Now, Ang and I had thought about doing this before, and there have even been a few times in the past few years that we actually set aside time to work on this. . . . . and . . . . nothing happened – something came up, . . . we just weren’t feeling like it that day, etc….. – you might have had similar days/thoughts.

So, chalk this up to a way in which becoming foster parents has already made us more intentional parents – we no longer have any time to linger in figuring this out. Don’t get me wrong, . . .  I feel like Ang and I communicate well, and are on the same page 99% of the time when it comes to parenting, but that reality is not an excuse for not thinking through these concepts and getting them on paper. The way that I see it – it will only improve our parenting and our family as we have something that we can return to and remember where our focus is – AND it is a tremendous tool to create a COMMON LANGUAGE of intention and purpose in our family that we can pass on to our children. .  . . . so, . . . yes. . . this will be hanging in our house

Here is what we have come up with

THE VISION (why do we do what we do):

The Bryant family has been given tremendous privilege, talent, resources, and heart to do great things for the Kingdom of God, and we will live to that purpose because we believe that loving other people first as Jesus does – without the worldly conditions of status, characteristics, beliefs, or past behavior – is the highest call given to us.

THE MISSION (what are the steps that we take towards the vision):

As a family we seek to always give God maximum glory by worshiping Him through all of our daily activities – regardless of the circumstances.  This starts with daily submitting our priorities, attitude, time, service, and provision to the LORD.  In addition to studying the truth found in the Bible, we will critically educate ourselves in the opportunities that God has placed before us and seek with great perseverance to be the best stewards of His gifts, which He has so generously poured out to us. If God’s revealed will is somehow in conflict with our own wants and levels of comfort, we will choose to “get over it” and trust Him. We refuse to believe that the greatest life that God wants for us is one of ease, but one that is full (Jn 10:10) – living at the edge of all possibility – accepting both the good days and the difficult ones. The Bryant family will always stand to fight against the enemy and his lies, and will not shrink back from the mantle of carrying the good news to ALL the world.

THE VALUES (how do we treat each other):

1. We choose truth over lying in every situation – regardless of the consequences that may follow.

2. We will treat each other with unconditional love – being accepting, respectful, and kind.

3. We will seek to serve one another before receiving.

4. We will encourage each other in every activity – choosing to build up, and never to tear down.

5. We will choose to view conflict as a tool for unification instead of division.

6. We will be grateful, not greedy.

7. We will sharpen each other to be healthy spiritually, psychologically, physically, intellectually, and socially.

8. We will generously give grace to each other – choosing forgiveness over condemnation.

9. We will try our best knowing that is all God ever asks of us no matter the result.

10. We will stand up for one another, and be there for each other no matter the sacrifice.

11. We will genuinely listen, seeking understanding not only of words but of the heart.

12. We will bring our fun with us; wherever God takes us .

- I encourage you, at whatever stage of life that you are in – to take the time to do this . . . establish your focus in life. . . it is worth the time and effort!

So, our square day (3/3/09) baby turned 1 a couple of days ago, and I just couldn’t believe how fast it happened. Ang and I love our little Daner (that’s one of our nicknames for him). He has been almost the first to do everything in his first year – including rolling over, crawling, and walking. Besides having an unbelievable grip (I have to pry his fingers off of me sometimes), he also has been very creative in how he moves around our non-carpeted floors. Basically, he will get behind almost anything that scoots (i.e., chairs, trashcans, dog, etc…), and uses them as his personal walker/transportation device to get across the room. He is currently up to about 5 steps on his own, so, I think the non-walking days are soon to be done. It has been quite an amazing adventure this year with him, and I remember going into the hospital with Ang for his birth – like it was yesterday. We pray that God continues to give us the wisdom needed to raise him (and our other children) in God-honoring ways  – with a love for Jesus that will always give them the strength and courage to love others well.

Once again, I can’t believe how God continues to expand our hearts to love him so much – our other children just adore him, and Ang and I are grateful for the honor of raising Dane Justice Bryant – here is a video recap of his first year. NOW listen, I am an amateur at the whole movie making thing – so please don’t judge – these songs were specifically selected to be a prayer for our relationship with him, and how he will honor God throughout his life. He was dedicated to God this past year, and that is a commitment that Ang and I take very seriously. . . . . and we are going to have a lot of fun along the way!!

Dane’s first year video from Ted Bryant on Vimeo.

We are excited and scared today as we take our fingerprints at an agency downtown. Everything then gets sent down to the state, and we have 30 days to get liscensed. What a culmination of a process that began back in August of 2009 when Ang said to me – “I really think God is calling us to be foster parents.” To which I replied. . . . “nah . . .” – I just wasn’t there yet. . . little did I know that God was just up to his old tricks

In the past 6 months we have:

- received CPR and First aid training for infants through adults

- been through a wide assortment of medical testing – bloodwork (including our children), TB tests, physcals, etc…

- started praying about a wounded soul coming into our home

- been to 30 hours of training

- read numerous articles (and tested on them)

- had a water test done

- background checks

- prayed more

- seen the disbelief in others eyes (and diagnosis of insanity) when telling them our news

- been drawn to the severe need all around us for GOOD foster homes

- spent countless hours completing over 50 pages of paperwork

- cancelled plans for a major trip this summer

- rejoiced at the perspective of the honor it is to truly help another human life.

- grieved the loss of convenience, comfort, and predictability that was hoped for in several areas of our life

- been drawn closer to God than ever before. . . . He really is in control

- reevaluated finances, eating habits, priorities, and spiritual goals within our own family – we want to be ready. . . . as ready as anyone can be.

God called Ang into this very strongly 6 months ago. . . . and He showed me, only after I trusted my wife AND opened my heart to actually hearing God. I’ll admit it, I didn’t ask the question for a long time because I was scared of what the answer might be. I felt like Joseph (only on a much smaller scale), needing to be visited by and Angel to confirm what his Mary had told him.

No angels for me, it just took my submission of the prideful and arrogant thought that I subconsciously held onto: “God has got to tell me eveything that He wants to do in this family, He needs to tell me first before we move forward – He will always go through me on the big stuff – I am the head of the household remember.”

PLUS –  You know – I backed off my schedule a little bit this Spring so that I could focus more on what I felt called to do with greenlockers. . . . it was all about me, me, me - ”What gives God? – How am I supposed to get things done that you have called me too when you keep adding stuff to our plate?, we don’t have time for this, and we already have not slept in 7 years – I thought we were just getting to the point of balance – what are you trying to do here?”

Praise God He is patient when we seek Him. . . and Praise God that He is willing to trust us with bringing His kingdom – even when I act so selfish and childish (Ang has been so steadfast throughout this whole process – just AMAZING).  Then on the way to work one day when I was genuinely open to hearing God’s voice I heard Him say “Ted, do you really think you are going to be the only one that I am going to use in your family to do great things? . . . Have you seen your wife lately? She’s amazing! . . . and I have amazing things in store for her too. . . trust me!”

So, I am leaving right now to get fingerprints. . . . let the wonderful adventure of being part of God’s kingdom take its next step. . . 1, 2, 3. . . JUMP

I really can’t complain at all, in fact – I can only give praise to God for the wonderful memories He has given us as gifts so for the Fall. Here are the picture highlights – enjoy

My Highlights

1. It all starts with Kya’s 4th birthday – it was great to be able to celebrate with Nana and Papa at the water park. Later, I took the older two for some go-kart runs!!
2. Lots of fun family photos!
3. Dane’s first taste of “solid” food – ok. . . nearly liquefied sweet potatoes – but it still counts!
4. A baseball game with the older two kids
5. First days at school for the kids
6. Lots. . . and I do mean lots. . . of pictures of Dane the last few months
7. My new Block class at Bethel – doing a team building low ropes course!
8. TREMENDOUS dedication to Phil and Louie at Manchester’s Peace garden – such an honor to be able to call them family. Also, a retirement dinner for Gary Zimmerman.
9. I don’t think bath pictures ever get old!!
10. Finally, a great day at Potatoe Creek State Park yesterday – playgrounds, a mile hike in the forest, a prairie maze, picnic, and of course Dakota found his hiking stick – just his size!!

Well, I closed the pool this past weekend, which is always the official end of Summer for the Bryant household (at least until we can afford a pool heater!). So, I thought I would catch you up on some of the highlights of the last few weeks – there are quite a few pix – enjoy!

My highlights:

1. Silverhawks Baseball game with Elli and Kya. . . and the ice cream of the future (dippin dots) – for the past 20 years!!!

2. Dress up time – caped crusaders and the hat club

3. Open house for Elliana’s and Kya’s new school – they were pretty pumped to get a locker!!

4. Actual first days of school for both (Kya’s picture is at the end).

5. Typical reading time in Kya’s bed – it is getting a bit crowded!

6. The smiling Dane show!

7. Boy group pictures, and then a little love from big sis!

8. Squeeze from Nana, and then had to get Dane in ND gear for the first game of the season!!

Seriously. . . . growing up waaaaayyy to fast. You would think with this being our 4th that we would be used to baby’s growing up so quickly. . . .just not the case. Here are a few pictures of the last few weeks, and several videos of Dane laughing now – very cute!!!

He loves the backpack!! So do we

Here is his first eating experience with “yummy” squash!!

Yeah – he liked it!!

First hair cut – yes, I know. . . crazy that he needed a hair cut at 4.5 months old!

Getting some love from Papa at Kya’s 4th birthday party

Videos of Dane’s giggle box

Same night, but this time with Kya being the entertainer:

I decided to interview Elliana on her first day of Kindergarten tomorrow. We had a great time at the open house tonight – this should be quite an adventure for our little lady

My brother-in-law and Sister-in-law (Ang’s sister) have been missionaries in Southern Africa since the beginning of 2009, and I couldn’t be more proud of them. They are pursuing Christ with everything that they are – through their struggles of heart, mind, body, and soul – they are tirelessly running the race set out before them. Here are a couple of videos from their blog about their recent stint in Zimbabwe:

Here is a video of some really good times – God’s creation is amazing!!!

If you want to know more about their journey, and be able to keep up with all that they are doing check out their BLOG

So, Kya’s birthday celebration was actually a series of 3 days – it takes some time to really get in a good celebration

6. Having a great time on the Go karts – Elli and Kya got to drive by themselves first, then we hit the big track together

5. Great times with Ang’s parents at the riverwalk and the splashpad in Elkhart – birthday cupcakes

4. We give Kya some Wedgets (picture caption. . . don’t mess with me wedgets!), and he has been playing with them ever since – loves them! Ok. . . .I have spent some time there too

3. Some fun family pictures before heading off to the GCC arts picnic, which was great. . . sorry, no pix from that.

2. We were sitting at the dinner table, and in between bites of his dinner – Kya, out of nowhere, asks. . . “So, how does Jesus get into my heart anyway?” - I love when God throws in some surprises, just to remind us that He is always with us.

1. Birthday singing from Elkhart, Indiana, USA

to Capetown, South Africa

WOW – it has been awhile, and I will say that I have enjoyed a little time away from the fast-paced work life. I feel so blessed to have summer’s “off” in a sense (though greenLockers is keeping me busy). We have had some great memory makers this summer, and I just wanted to share some of our summer fun with everyone. Summer is now officially over for me, but here is a quick look back – the full screen option is at the bottom right of the slideshow – just FYI

10 Highlights:
1. Dane just getting so big!! – the kids love him so much!
2. A little project work with my Dad and just a great visit with my parents
3. Dakota REALLY likes his ice cream!! – who does he get that from??
4. 4th of July at the Thursby’s – always a great time!
5. Camping out with the whole family (backyard first!), then to the KOA in Granger. . . . we spared no expense – ha! – But Thomas the Train and all of his friends were having a party most of the night. . . making memories. First time Putt Putt golfing though!!.
6. Tennis camp with the kids
7. A sleep over with the Nashville Bryant’s kids (My oldest brother’s children – Maleah, Micah, and Jaren)
8. A little show with Jars of Clay – Man! they sounded great unplugged!
9. Lots of sandbox time this summer – good thing I built such a big one!
10. At my middle brother’s house/farm in Brookville, Indiana (they have a son, Benjamin) – time in the creek, 4-wheelers, campfires, making Christmas ornaments, playing with their bunny, and camping out

We had a great summer, and I hope that you did as well!!! Let’s see what adventure God has for you and us in the next few months!

As I mentioned a few posts ago – Ang and I are NOT PERFECT, and we have a lot to learn about parenting, but we also have a lot of knowledge and experience in the area, and we want to share that with you all. . . . . . BECAUSE IT SEEMS LIKE NOONE IS TALKING ABOUT GOOD PARENTING ANYMORE – and well, . . . . that is kind of frustrating to us

For those of you who may not know us very well let me give you our background (i.e., reasons why I think we have some ability to speak on these issues). Besides our 4 children (5.5, 4, 2, 3 months), Ang. is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) working 6 years at the counseling center at St. Marys College. She has also worked with the Stars Parenting network in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and recently helped establish intervention curriculum for kids coming from “troubled” homes. In addition, she teaches several courses at Bethel College including Parenting among others like Crisis Intervention, and other human services courses.

As for me, I have my PhD. in Cognitive Psychology, and teach full time at Bethel courses like Child Growth and Development, LifeSpan Growth and Development, and Adolescent Growth and Development. I have also had the privilege to work with/guide middle school and high school students for the past 9 years through the following activities: Manger of teen workers on the inner city, North side of Milwaukee, Social worker on the inner city, South side of Milwaukee for first time juvenile delinquents, Alternative high school teacher for grades 9-12 in inner city Milwaukee, youth group adult volunteer leader for 6 years, middle school camp counselor for 5 years – - what a blessing those experiences have been.

AGAIN – we still have a lot to learn, but we want to share what we know, so, let’s start with kids throwing fits

Kids are going to have fits – that’s ok, they are exploring their transition into both verbal and physical modes of expressing emotion. Overall, what this means is that . . . your child is NORMAL; however, how you as a parent interpret and react to these fits can make your life easier or more difficult.

1. It doesn’t mean you are bad parent – in fact, many times you are just following through with a rule/warning that you gave them just minutes earlier. It is that consistency in “following through” with things that you say that actually helps make you a very good parent!

2. It doesn’t mean your child is out of control. They are disappointed because they are not able to get something that they want, and they do not have the vocabulary/self control to express it verbally until around 4 or so. In fact many of us throw fits. . . they just look very differently (sometimes) with all our “adult” mannerisms. During their prime years of 2 and 3, fits can occur quite frequently, but if you think they are happening too much check these things first A) are they getting enough sleep? (usually, 10-12 hours) B) are you consistent in following through with what you say?, or do you “give in” to the child’s fits (e.g., saying they must eat their vegetables before getting a treat, but then eventually letting them have one anyway, etc… I will do much more on “meal time” in a later post) – By the way. . . .YES, the children do remember these occasions where you “gave in”, which will make it even harder next time to get the behavior that you want out of your child. C) are they eating healthy foods? – they can only run on the fuel they are given, and your car would get really cranky too if you but in Diesel instead of unleaded. D) are they getting enough exercise? many times fits last longer than necessary because children have a lot of energy that has not been released elsewhere. E) are they getting enough of your attention? Children need one on one attention, you, as the parent, on their level playing/exploring/being silly with them. Sometimes, fits are a result of a child’s need for attention from the ones they love the most – YOU. By the way watching TV with them does not count for much -

3. Don’t let fits make you lose control. They are disappointed in not being able to do something – you might be the only one there, and so they take it out on you. . . . now, in adult world we call this “scapegoating” and far too often, we use much more complicated ways of pulling this off – many of which, are intentional. That child loves you so much – don’t misread their actions. . . . .I mean sure, if an older child or an adult was doing what that 2 year old was doing then there would be some serious issues, but. . . . step out of your adult world, and enter the child’s – they are not intentionally trying to make you mad. . . . . . so don’t give them control of your emotions – choose to be the one that remains under control, so that they will watch and learn – and know how to remain under control themselves. . . . who else are they going to learn self-control from??!!! .

4. They do not know what is best for them – you do. If they throw a fit, it does not mean that all of a sudden they have somehow grown up from 2 to 50 and are an expert in this area – NO, you know what is best for them (that is part of our responsibility as parents – to read, learn from each other – what is actually the best for our children!), and you should NOT give into their fits – if you do. . . you are surrendering your authority as a parent (more on this in a later post). It is ok in a CALM way – to reassure them that Mommy/Daddy knows what’s best for them, and that they can trust Mommy/Daddy (e.g., if it is a food item – you can say something like ”Mommy/Daddy knows what’s best for your body – so you can grow healthy and strong like Mommy and Daddy).

5. It is ok to find quiet humor in them. Many times finding humor can be the choice of emotion for me instead of anger. Now, you obviously do not want to laugh at your children, but I often think to myself (or talk it over with Ang later) how good that particular fit ranks with some other ones that I have seen, and this often helps me keep a level head, and the less I get worked up, the less time the child will be worked up. . . . remember they are learning by watching us and our reactions. The less they see you lose it – the more they will keep it.

As far as fits go – here are our children during their prime fit years of 2 and 3:

Elliana had the classic melt to the floor – as if she completely lost all muscle control and simple crumples – crying

Kya had the running to the nearest corner of the room while crying and yelling a little bit – and he would just bury himself in the corner

Dakota has two right now – one is the strong “NO” while taking a swat/swing in the general direction of the person – and having a very stern look on his face, and the second one is running into the living room crying, and then throwing himself onto the ottamen – burying his face into it

Here is the video of the second fit – caught on tape last night

Looking forward to this journey together  – please feel free to share comments so that we can all learn together.

So, we knew that we were in for a full weekend, and it was awesome – let me give you a picture guide through it all.

Friday – to Fort Wayne for one of my best college friend’s wedding (Eric) – here are the kids playing on the steps outside the church

Here they are taking a breather . . . . . gearing up for dancing aka. the reception

Picture of Eric and I – yes, he was that happy , and I was excited for the cake line!

Picture of Angela with one of her closest friend’s in college (Tricia)

There is really never a bad time for a family photo!! Oh, in case you were wondering the younger two were back at the hotel with Justine (a Bethel student who often babysits for us – she was great this weekend!)

Saturday – Hitting the hotel pool for an early swim –

it happened to be Dane’s first swim ever. . . ok so he was barely in the water. . . . but it still counts!!!

Off to the Fort Wayne Zoo – love being S. Bend zoo members, half off of the price here!

In honor of their aunt Nichole and Uncle Aaron (in Zimbabwe right now), we started off here:

Here is the giraffe – amazing!!!

Here is Kya feeding the giraffe – just crazy!!

Here is the sky ride – neither kid was scared at all! – They loved being able to fly like a bird. . . .

Here is Justine playing around with Dakota

Just some other of my favorite pix from the zoo

The carousel is always a fan favorite – not sure what Elliana is riding?? But Kya was pretty pumped about his Kung Fu Panda!

Here is Dane after being told that the little known fact that 10% of a Komodo dragon’s diet is other Komodo dragons!

Here he is after being told that he is big and strong and could easily fight off a Komodo dragon with his bare hands

Back at home after a long weekend. Using the map, the kids are trying to recap the whole adventure at the zoo for Dane, since he was asleep for most of it – Dane is just trying to get a really close look at it all!

It was a great adventure – as one of my friends would say. . . . we were Making Memories!!

So, even though his birthday is tomorrow – we went ahead and celebrated tonight while my parents were here from Tennessee.  Here are some of the festivities

Here is a video of us tonight:

Here is a special video to Nicole and Aaron Marshall in South Africa – thanks for your love . . . and your drum!!

Now let’s start at the beginning -we went to Hacienda to celebrate:

Elliana lost her first tooth tonight – somewhere between chip #4 and Chip #10

Dane gazing out of the window of the car – I am sure just in wonder of his now, 2 year old brother

Trying to blow out the candles – like a moth to a flame!!

Yeah!. . . it was good cake

Here is the birthday boy. . . .I can’t believe he is 2!!

Dane is even getting into the spirit!!

Family photo time!!!!!

Opening presents as Nana and Papa, as well as the Thursby’s (cousin keegan is in the photo) watched from Florida through Skype!!

Thanks for celebrating with us, and thank you God for allowing us to borrow little Dakota!!

Ang and I just want to thank everyone who has taken the time out of their busy schedule to show us love. We could never say thank you enough!! Here are some of the pictures that we have taken with family and friends over the past two weeks. . . . Dane has already changed so much!

Click on the pictures to see it bigger

These first two are videos

[flickr]photo:3368651025[/flickr]

Have you been grazing spiritually lately. . . . OR. . . .Have you recently had a mountain top experience of some sort? – Feeling pretty confident about you spiritual life and your ability to impact people who are hurting and broken? Be careful!!!! You are now more dangerous than ever to the enemy, and you better believe that he is lurking like a lion (1 Peter 5:8) – and he is going to try and bring you down as soon as possible. . . . . are you married? (it doesn’t matter for how long). . . . then let’s talk, because within marriage lies one of the most commonly used attacks of the devil . . . why? – because, unfortunately, it works a lot of the time!

First warning. . . if you think this doesn’t apply to you, and that there really is no need to read this. . . . . I really don’t know why God will ever tell you that. . . .so, you might want to check the source of that thought – AND keep reading! You also might want to pray that God be with you as you read. . . . once again, if that sounds like a ridiculous thing to do?? . . . . . . . that’s not coming from God. . . do it – get Him involved.

First let’s talk about some basic characteristics of the enemy – I recommend you watch the weekend service from Granger Community Church from this past weekend (3/8/09) entitled “Sex for Sale” – watch it here (www.gccwired.com)  – where Mark Beeson explains the 3 hats of satan

Hat #1 – Tempter – trying to sell you lies like -  “this (whatever act the temptation involves) is not that bad. . . noone will know. . . and it doesn’t matter anyway, because it’s not that wrong . . . you can totally handle it. . . other people, stupid people, get caught – but your not stupid. . . . . it’s just this one time. . . . . just a little bit won’t hurt” – and after every step that you take, the enemy tempts you with the next one – and notice. . . . it is usually a slow/gradual process.

Hat #2 – Promoter – after he has tempted you he then tries to sell you lies like “this is going to be the best ever. . . . so fulfilling, it’s going to feel so good – you will feel so taken care of, so complete, so alive, so. . . . . . right – this is what you have been missing out on for soooo long!”

Hat#3 – Accuser – after you have commited the sinful act, he then tries to sell you lies like “I can’t believe you did THAT. . . you are horrible!!! – your toast now – God will never take you back. . . . might as well not even fight it – just give in all the way. . . you can’t resist it . . . you’ve already proven that!. . . . it will never go away. . . there is nothing you can do!. . . you knew it was wrong, but you did it anyway – that is the worst of the worst – not even God wants you back now!”

Let me be very clear. . .satan is the father of lies (John 8:44), which means. . . all he does is tell lies. . . so, these “hats” are ALL LIES – every single one!!

So, what does this have to do with you?

So, what is your weak spot when comes to your marriage?? What do you feel like your spouse is not giving you enough of?? especially things that you think you deserve?? Here is a quick list of some of  these maybe

1. Sex

2. Quality time together . . . that they actually WANT to spend

3. being valued and appreciated for all that you do

4. Sharing an emotional connection – talking about things that are close to your heart. . . . EVEN YOUR FAITH!

5. Passion, desire, adventure, fun

6. A sense of peace (or lack of tension)

etc….

HAVE NO DOUBT IN YOUR MIND that this area of resentment in your life has a huge bullseye painted on it – and it is going to be attacked by the enemy using Hat #1 and Hat#2 above

and if you don’t already have one – there may be someone entering into your life that just “happens” to provide an opportunity to have that resentment fulfilled. . . . . it’s called a strategy. . . and the enemy has been perfecting it for thousands of years!

The question then, reagarding our behavior, is NOT what is right and what is wrong – the question is what standard are you going to hold yourself to -  so as to be the brightest light possible for God’s kingdom – bring Him the most Glory – form the most solid Family – to be an inspiration for your friends/children/grandchildren. . . . . . because they will know, and they are watching. . . . . and in order prevent this, you need to have behavioral guidelines that will protect you from the lies of the enemy. . . especially the one that tells us that this is “really not a big deal”, and that “you can handle it”

Here are some questions to ask yourself (rate each one on a scale of 0-5 – with 0 being “no, not me at all” and 5 being “yes, that is me most of the time”):

1. Am I sharing more of my thoughts/feelings with someone else (of the opposite sex) than I am with my wife/husband?

2. Have I been thinking and getting excited about how I can see someone else (of the opposite sex) a little more often – even if it is with a larger group?

3. Am I, or could I be,  the major spiritual force in someone else’s (of the opposite sex) life right now – turning them towards Christ?

4. Do I have SOME excitement and/or attraction to someone else (of the opposite sex) when we physically touch in a supposed “neutral” way? – hand shakes, welcoming/parting hugs, a touch on the shoulder, arm, or knee, etc…

ok . . . Tally your points. . .

-

- if you have a total of 1 or more then you need to understand that you are most likely being attacked spiritually. . . AND. . . you are losing. . . . . . now what??!

1. Remember that some of the most effective “sells” of the enemy is that “this is not a problem – completely harmless”, and “you can totally handle it on your own.”

2. Remember that Paul tells us in the Bible to RUN from sexual sin and temptation (1 Cor 6:18) – so that means you need to stop cold turkey/put distance between you and him/her, STOP communication

3. This path to sexual sin is most often a very SLOW one – with gradual steps that you hardly notice . . . . it is a slow fade

4. Think about what kind of legacy/model you want for you, your marriage, your children, and grandchildren. . . . because they will remember these types of things forever!

5. Know that in this struggle, you have an opportunity to get even closer to God (who is strong enough to help you through this) and have a witness of strength. . . . . or become one of many who have sinned in this way only to hide and decay in shame and agony – saying to themselves “I don’t know how this happened. . . . . ”

6. Finally, know that sexual sin starts when you even lustfully (not just sex, but also companionship, etx…) think about somone else. . . . many of us have traveled down that path at some point – to differeing degrees. Repenting/confessing/being real with God wipes it all clean – from the one-time lustful thought to the full-fledged adulterous lifestyle that someone has lived for years. Don’t ever believe the lie that God won’t take you back (hat #3 above). . . . . . In fact, you may be reading this post for the exact reason of God desparately wanting you back . . . He’s just waiting on you to ask. . . . . . . . ask Him back in. . . and WHATEVER you have done. . . He is ready – right now -  willing AND capable, to help you turn this thing around. . .

So two days ago – here was Ang and Dane:

Wow what a day yesterday. . . and now we have a “Square Day” (i.e., because he was born on 3/3/09) baby.  Ang is so amazing, and I could not be more proud of her, she really had to fight for this one! Here is the room setup at St. Joe hospital:

We got into the hospital to start the induction at 6am.  Once again there were some issues in getting Ang’s IV in – only 4 tries this time (thank goodness for the IV therapy people!). Instead of using Pitocin, which is what is typically used for inductions – they have always just used a “cytotek” pill with us. Sure enough – once again, Ang started to have good contractions. By noon, however, she was only dilated 3cm, and so we wait. . . .

Side Note: – People about ready to give birth should not be this cute!!!

By 4pm she was dilated 5cm – even though she was having full-blown contractions, and was in a lot of pain – so we went ahead with the epidural – to try and relax her body a little. At this point, they realized that her previous IV was no longer functional, and so we had to wait for what ended up being around an hour until the IV therapist could make it back. . . . then the 45 minutes it takes to get a bag of fluid into her system, and then the 15 minutes for the actual epidural procedure so, the two hours between 4-6 pm were definitely the roughest (oh, and she was throwing up too during this time!!!) – so thank you so much for all of you praying for us!! The anesthesiologist actually stuck around and personally adjusted the epidural every 10 minutes or so.  The nurses were great, especially Rachel during the day – Bethel nursing graduate, GCC member with a passion for doing mission work in India – coincidence. . . I don’t think so! – we had some great discussions.

Soon, after this little baby Dane Justice was brought into the world, and it was wonderful!!! – this picture was minutes after a 13 hour+ day – 9:45pm birth.

Here is the resident who helped (far left) and our main Doctor – Dr. Cavallo – who was amazing! – he has delivered 3 out of our 4 children – we love this guy!

6 pounds 14 ounces, 20 inches long. . . and a lot of hair!

A little tired after his first breastfeeding – he ate great – no problems at all!!!!

Yes!!. . . I am a proud Dad – it is sooooo great to finally meet Dane - I wonder what amazing plans God has in store for this little guy!

Here is a picture of Dane that looks a lot like Elliana when she was born – one of my favorite pictures so far – gotta love the hair! This was taken soon after I gave him his first bath (I had never done that before for our other kids – that was a great experience!)

Visitation at St. Joseph Hosipital is from 11am until 8pm – people are welcome!! Room 702 – thanks again everyone!!  and Praise God!!!

WOW – I can’t believe our little girl is 5, and more beautiful than ever. . . . Ok, I know that I am biased, but seriously – she is so precious to Ang and I. Here are some of the highlights of her birthday celebration:

First off – do you want to know how many people bowl at 9am on a Sat. morning?. . . zero, but we do!!!

Elliana was actually beating all of us the first game (ok. . . with the bumpers, but still) – check out the form:

Here’s Kya doing some celebration after a big roll

Our Philosophy – Celebrate even when you leave an impossible spare

Boys just chill’in – I personally love the shirts!!

They look so innocent. . .don’t they?!!

Dakota’s first bowl. . . kind of looks painful – lol, but it was good!

A little Steak and Shake afterwords – yes. . . kids eat free!

Gotta have a Shake!

Finish the afternoon with an iron-on craft . . . waiting for Dane

Cake Time!!!

Thank goodness for sister’s having birthdays!!

She sure does take care of us!!!! We love our sister!!!

Finish off with a sleep-over with the cousins:) !!

What a Celebration!!! Thank you God for letting us borrow your treasure for a few years – Ang and I will do the best we can!!

This is just a wonderful piece. . . I love seeing people trying to authentically guide and help other people through life

It doesn’t hurt that I am father of a soon to be 5 year old (4 days!!!)

I have not had time to think about it. . . .

Yes, I have cried. . . . I have wept with family. . . I have seen the surreal horror on their children’s faces. . . and I have seen the pummeled soul of my grandmother – one of the strongest people I know.

But, I have not had time to think – there was India, the start of the Sping semester, my teaching of 7 classes this semester, my greenLockers non-profit project, and more – no time. . . . . . . .   - until now.

On Dec. 26th, my Aunt Louie and Uncle Phil Rieman were travelling up North here for our annual get together. On their trip, their car soon slid on a patch of ice, and in an instance they were hit by a dumptruck. . . . they were gone. Their 3 grown children (in their 30s) decided to drive separately, and did not know what had happened until ~ 20 mintues away from our gathering place when they got the call from the Noblesville Sheriff.

For as long as I will live I will never forget the image of them walking into our gathering (with all the laughing, excited anticipation, joy, etc…) with souls shattered, weeping such heavy. . . heavy. . . tears of a loving sadness I know not of. . . . . . we cried, the whole family grieved so deeply that day – all day. . . . . . . . and then I left at 4am the next morning for India, and though I felt Phil and Louie’s presence with me – I knew that my closure was yet to come.

You see Phil and Louie Rieman were Kingdom of God bringers to this weary world in so many ways:

• missionaries to various parts of Africa for years
• integral components in trying to accomplish peace in U.S. neighborhoods as well as in the Sudan
• Pastors of multiple churches – with their last being in Indianapolis
• activists for peace and justice nationally and internationally
• unbelievalbly loving parents, and a tremendous Aunt and Uncle
• Frugal, so that they could share all that they have with those in need
• Inspirations to tens of thousands of people as they were national leaders in their church’s denomination
• A true neighbor to all of their neighbors
• etc. . .

Seriously, the list could just keep going on and on . . . . they were On Mission for God. . . they were making amazing things happen here up until their very last day. . . . they were soooo faithful, and they were such dear friends of Ang and I. . . . I miss them very much, and I miss their hope – their spirit – their overwhelming capacity to find joy in all parts of life – their smiles – their laughter – the light that shined so brightly in their eyes – their refreshing authenticity - their plans and actions to help others feel loved – their hugs – and maybe most of all, their revolutionary, contagious, and inspiring love of God and all of His/Her creation. . . . . . . well done Phil and Louie. . . . well done my good and faithful servants.

My cousin wrote an amazing letter that he read at their memorial – and I want to share it with you now:

Louie and Phil,                                                    29 December 2008

This is still not real. The stories pour forth. Rolling in with strength, wisdom, laughter, and truth exuding the realness and fullness of the love that is the essence of you. This hurts. So bad. The tears keep flowing, the heart keeps aching, and this family, this community, this world is missing 2 of its most wondrous and willing servants.

I know that you are smiling. Showering the world in rainbows of extravagant and unconditional love. We who knew you understand the blessing of being touched by each of you in new ways. To hear the countless beautiful Louie and Phil stories is to more deeply know your lives that were so fully lived. What a wonder that in death we feel so close to your LIFE. Hundreds, thousands who were touched and loved by you. Our lives made better by even one simple interaction. You are two people of such passion, love, courage, conviction. You have truly changed us. You have truly changed the world.

Heidi says she knows you are in the heaven that you imagined. I know that this is true as I feel your radiance and inclusive love in every thought and step and breath. This does not erase the pain. You are gone way too soon. You were heaven on earth kind of people and there was so, so much more living to be done.

I keep speaking of you in the present tense. I think I always will. I see, I feel your spirits alive and as real as the music that is in me, as real as the earth beneath my feet. So real in your beloved children.

Your spirits are Real in Ken, strong and gentle, with big wonderful arms to embrace the wholeness of this wondrous world. To laugh, to play, to inspire, to engage, for this life is too precious to live with regrets. Contagious charisma. Tender and true. His father’s curiousity, his mother’s sense of justice. There are dreams to dream and visions to profess.

Your spirits are Real in Tina, loyal, loving, adventurous, honest. Joy her middle name. In her, joy comes alive and life lessons learned are too beautiful to hold to oneself. Only when shared do they fully bloom. Her mother’s realness, her father’s boldness. A friend who knows what it really means to be a friend.  With the courage to let others in and the openness to Be, she is One who blesses each corner of the world she passes through leaving community, strong and rich.

Your spirits are Real in Cheri, teacher of life. Dancer, cook, artist, maker of home and sacred space. Powerful, generous, magical, with the humor and cuteness to constantly amaze. Her father’s genius, her mother’s compassion. Full of conviction. Seeker of truth. We learn from her. We learn the good stuff, the essence of life kind of stuff.

Your spirits are Real in us, those who knew you. Our world is brighter, more fully just, radiant, more full of laughter, spirit-filled, more fully loved. The spark of phil and louie is in each of us. We know what you would have us do. Love more fully, walk more humbly, embrace the divine that breathes all around us and rejoices within in each of us.

Visions come. Louie, I see you under an African sky, dancing, running as fast as the cheetah, as swift as the wind. Everything is so, so beautiful. Choirs sing as the most glorious bird sings. Effortless, rich, and right. The space between vanishes. You know this hug. This hug is real. Is comfort. Is full.  Is unconditional. Is forever.  Love is the language and you one of its master teachers. Fluent, poetic, lyrical.  And the chocolate. Oh, the chocolate. Who knew it could be so sweet.

Visions come. Phil, I hear your laughter rising full with the power to heal the deepest wound, the power to bridge the widest chasm. Your prayer spills forth to hold you, hold Louie, hold each other but to never forget. Never forget to hold those in every land from the Congo, to Sudan, Columbia to Palestine, Indianapolis to Iowa. To hold the soldier, the police officer, the IRS worker, the person sitting next to you on the plane, the neighbor, the friend. Those gentle, tender, calloused hands, that know so well how to turn things to gold. Abundant are the gardens. Brilliant the carpenter’s creations. Gut-achingly hilarious the jokester’s mischievous trail. Strong and kind the guitar notes ring. We thank you very kindly…we thank you very kindly.

Louie and Phil. Phil and Louie. We love you so, so much. We miss you terribly. You taught us a fearless love that inspires and challenges us every day. We feel your love and know that you are here. With us.  We rejoice in your lives lived here on earth. It is the spirit and pieces of you in each of us that we now carry forth. With gratitude. With passion. With love. With love.

Written by Chris Good, read at Memorial Service for Phil and Louie Baldwin Rieman 1/31/08