In your life . . . what is your marshmallow that may be consuming your thoughts? 

Though our marshmallows are often more complex than this illustration, our obsession with them is no less intense, and our consumption of them no less obvious. Allow the Holy Spirit to give you eyes to see and ears to hear today what these might be in your life.

- Thanks Sue for the video

Last week at Bethel, we focused on sexuality in the chapel messages, and I thought that I would share some or the message material with you along with a few of my opinions mixed in.

The Walterhouses shared their story with us, which involved his addiction to porn for almost 20 years starting at age 14, and carrying through his entire training to be a pastor and his pastorship until he was caught. No one knew. . . . . not his wife. . . . . not his “accountability” partner. . . . no one.  These are some lies that he believe that kept him in bondage:

1. I’m the only person struggling with this sin - now he knew others were dealing with it, but not as bad as him, and wasn’t it supposed to go away after marriage – that’s what other people had told him. . . . what was wrong with him??

2. Everyone struggles with this sin (Lie of rationalization/justification) – in other words, when he heard his discipleship leader make a comment about “just because he is on a diet [i.e., he is married] doesn’t mean he can’t look at the menu” – he figured that this is just a man’s cross to bare, and that all men are dealing with it, so it is really not that big a deal.

3. I’m not hurting anyone else (Lie of denial) – this is just affecting me, noone else is getting hurt. Side not here from me – first of all, “you bring you into every relationship, thus, if you are affected then all of your relationships are affected!” Second, you only have a limited amount of passion and desire, and if you are using up some or most of it on porn, then guess who gets short-changed?. . . . your spouse, your friends, your vocation, etc….

4. I can get victory over this sin (Lie of self-effort) – in other words, if I would just confess it enough, pray about it enough, go to enough church camps, etc…. (his list was fairly long here) . . . then I can kick this thing myself, and noone has to know.

5. I can NEVER get victory over this sin (Lie of hopelessness) – After believing lie #4 and trying as hard as he could many, many times. . . he came to the conclusion that all was hopeless in conquering this. Side note from me: this is not uncommone to see with those struggling with addiction, and it goes something like this. People can maybe envision being strong for a few hours, or a day, but once they start imagining being strong for a week or 2 weeks, a month? – they feel overwhelmed, b/c there is no way they are strong enough for that!! and so they say “screw-it” might as well just give in now. . . .

You know what . . . part of them is right – the state they are in right now, they can’t make it a month, but the secret (that the enemy does not want you to know) is that Day 12 is not as hard as Day 1, and that you are being transformed throughout, so that one day at a time. . . you are getting stronger – sure you will fall, but God is there to keep building you up.

So, keys to victory, according to the Walterhouses:

1. Press in clost to the heart of God – emphasis on the HEART! – and that heart is of love and grace, yes. . . . even for this! He is ready to help and bring you back home!

2. be open with your sexual struggles (or hidden sin) with someone that has bite – in other words confess in a radical way – to people that might leave a mark (i.e., a spouse, an RD, etc…)

3. Call it what it really is. . . . Sin and Lies - and just like any sin, when grown fully leads to death.

One last note from my heart on this:

Deep within each man is a desire to be wanted, and wanted sexually – those images, those pictures. . . you know what they are telling men? “I want you” – “I WANT YOU” – “you don’t have to change, I will except you just the way you are, you don’t have to work to convince me – I am all yours”. That temptation strikes to the core of most men – you take into consideration that men or visually driven, and you have the recipe for a “fall.”

There is so much more to be said on this, but that is it for now – pray for the boys/men and girls/women that are in this addiction right now please – they need all of our help.

I was recently asked to put my thoughts down concerning when I feel most connected with God and disconnected from God. I only listed my top two insights in both categories, but I thought I would share them with you:

I feel God closest in either one of two ways. First, when I am in a different culture than my own – especially on a mission trip of some sort. I have been blessed to be able to travel around the world quite a bit, and many times I see God most clearly when I am staring into the face and the life of someone who is doesn’t look, act, or talk like me. Second, when I am on my last leg. This may the result of busyness sometimes, but when I need to get something done, but have no idea how to do it. . . .and no time to figure it out. . . God comes through in the clutch for me, when I am most vulnerable – I love that about Him!

There are also 2 main ways that I feel disconnected from God. First, a little background . . . see, many people are told the lie that “they’re not good enough” for much of their life – maybe from Mom and Dad, or a teacher, coach, or peer – and that can bury people, but that was not the case for me. See, most of my life I have been told, by many well-meaning people, a different lie that is just as dangerous – “I AM good enough.” At times, I can believe that I have all that it takes to succeed on my own – the talent, experience, athletic ability, looks, intellect, marriage, family, etc…. when I do, God usually feels distant b/c I have usually left Him in the dust. Second, I have often times in my life had an idol of “happiness” – and I pursue it fervently – moreso than God. Now, this is not neccesarily pursuing shallow things or buying “toys”, in fact, I am often times worshiping happiness with just establishing the simple expectation every day that a successful, God-honoring day must entail me being happy by the end of it. This is what I now know to be true – true happiness/joy cannot be pursued directly, but it is a perspective that is gained ONLY as a result of pursuing and trusting in God’s plans/purposes/work for me each and every day. Some days are difficult others. . . not so much – over time God’s spirit inside of me is teaching me the perspective of true joy, but when I ignore this guidance, and worship happiness – I distance myself from God.

Jesus did not die so that we could be tame! I understand that there is a balance here between safety and risk. . . especially as a parent – because it is sooooo not about ME anymore, but I really do think we can all risk more. On my life performace, I want a high score – not to compare to other people, but so that the judge can see his divine choreography performed the way that he intended it to be in my life.

This is not just for me. . . . this what I want to bring to my wife, and my children. Just like in the workplace, who can the boss can use most? Capable people that are willing to give up the most. I pray for the courage to risk in life – not stupid things – but those things that have eternal potential – love, forgiveness, time, etc… and I want my wife and kids to be able to look to me to help inspire their own God-ordained risks.

I wanted to share some insights I have gained this week:

10. There is nothing like mid 70s and Sunny to create smiles on a college campus!. . . except for maybe free pizza

9. With regards to why I study Cognitive Psychology (how the brain processing information) – Romans 12:2 is my new favorite reason!

8. Death sucks!- no other way to say it. There is so much pain in dealing with someone close to you passing – Praise God that He has victory over Death! 

7. There is a lot of tension between Science and the Church – why? one reason is because the foundation for theories/beliefs in Science is evidence whereas the foundation of Christianity is Faith, which by definition is belief despite there not being quantifiable evidence

6. One of the hardest things about being Christian is living in the balance between preparation/prediction/planning and SIMLULATANEOUSLY being completely open to the unpredictability of the Holy Spirit, which could instantly erase all your plans

5. When the Holy Spirit shows up amidst a Chapel service about cultural reconciliation, Hope and Healing seem so close – Please . . . let them come!

4. The majority culture says “you [minority culture] are ok – I accept/welcome you” but the Minority Culture doesn’t “feel” it. . . . . . why?? It is neccessary for the Minority culture to learn all the details about the majority culture in order to survive and thrive. . . . however, when the Majority culture does not pursue the details of minority culture in the same way. . . in essence it is saying “your details are not necessary” – back to square 1 – the majority retains higher ground simply due to its ability to “choose” what it pursues. . . . and that freedom/lack of pursuit of the majority translates into arrogance and ignorance for a minority viewer – a hypocrisy of sorts. . . true acceptance does not come from a stated belief but can only come through authentic pursuit. . . . ever heard of a guy named JESUS? ****welcoming words without true pursuit of a culture is meaningless

3. What if science brings God joy like the joy that I get watching my daughter figure out a puzzle together all by herself?

2. I have such a heart for wanting Marriages to be healed, and specifically, through the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2) – there is great value in studying your spouse.

1. Honestly (and praise God this is true!), the BEST part of my day is when I get to see my beautiful wife and continue the day’s “adventure” (and sometimes it really is ). . . together

A colleague of mine sent this to me, and I have enjoyed thinking about it, and will soon be presenting it to my class for a discussion, but wanted to open it up to your thoughts first

A friend of mine, Katie Weakland, who is a botanist shared a devotion with us at our faculty meeting yesterday, and it made a lot of sense to me.

She was discussing how plants that grow on continents (e.g., North America) have a lot of defense mechanisms – like thorns:

as well as many other things – like the poison that Black Walnut trees emit so that no other trees can grow around them. Of course, these are all characteristics that over time. . . have allowed the plant to continue to grow and reproduce (i.e., not get eaten by herbivores), but I wonder if it is worth it?

This is all very fascinating, but the realization is that all of these defense mechanisms take a lot of energy to make. . . energy that could be used to make more seeds, produce bigger fruit, and grow faster.

ISN’T THIS US??. . . . . how much time do we spend on protecting ourselves? – you know, not being authentic, hiding our true selves from others, not loving, not serving, not submitting, seeking control and power in relationships, etc….     – the fact is we are wasting our time and energy . . .

Dr. Weakland went on to say that plants on the islands of Hawaii (and most other islands) are very different.  Since they have not been around nearly as long. . . they have yet to adapt to have some of those defense mechanisms, and instead. . . . you see plants using their full energy in producing beautiful things to their fullest potential (i.e., fruit, flowers, etc…) – in fact she said that the biggest rasberrys in the world grow there, why are they so big?? Because they DON’T HAVE ANY THORNS – they can dedicate all of their energy to producing fruit.

Think about all of the things that we do to produce defense mechanisms to protect ourselves from being hurt or even “eaten” by others  INSTEAD OF USING THAT ENERGY TO PRODUCE FRUIT that we were meant to produce:

love

joy

peace

patience

kindness

goodness

faithfulness

gentleness 

self-control

Let’s all start using our time – our days – our minutes – our strength – our energy – NOT FOR THORNS, but for making the fruit we were created for.

A colleague of mine sent me this video on how those who tend to believe in more pseudoscientific phenomena tend to also call upon others to be more open-minded!?? When in fact, from a philosophical stand point, that seems to be a very weak position. There is also a lot to be digested for the Church as well in this video – Turn your brains on and watch this:

There has sense been informal discussions among some Bethel faculty concerning this video, and so I just wanted to let you in on some of that – if your brain doesn’t hurt too much already

“I’m afraid that I detect some biases in these arguments that seem to be at the root of the issue.

Take a look, for instance, at 2:16.  There is a claim that a lack of (natural) explanation giving rise to a conclusion that an event is supernatural is a contradiction.  To quote the video, “In effect, it is saying that ‘I can’t explain something; therefore, I can explain it.’”  I’m afraid this is false.  What’s being claimed is not that a phenomenon cannot be explained, but that it cannot be explained using natural processes.  Thus, the argument is really, “This process cannot be explained through natural processes; therefore, supernatural processes must be employed.”  There are actually arguments like this made in mathematics:  that a particular system (in our case, an axiomatic system) is not sufficient to answer a particular question, so something outside of that system must be brought in to explain it.

While I can appreciate the argument by the person on the left side (at 0:52), the crux of their argument seems to be bashing the “non-scientific person” because they are not open to natural explanations.  At the same time, isn’t the person on the left falling into the same trap by denying (for instance, at 0:17) the possibility of any supernatural explanations for phenomena, thereby also excluding certain conclusions?  I can accept a scathing rebuke of the group on the right that attributes everything to ghosts (though I think a straw man argument has been set up here), but I think there are more than just the two sides.  We appear to have an excluded middle.  Can we not be open to both natural and supernatural explanations?

In fact, this leads down a very interesting road.  How far does one need to go to exhaust natural explanation before it can no longer be invoked?  The analogous questions in math (in terms of axiomatic systems) have answers.  A lot of work was done in these areas since the 1930s and Goedel’s incompleteness theorem.  I am surprised this is not being asked in the scientific community.  The issue I have is, are these questions even being allowed to be asked?  If not, why not?”

Here is another video about how science and religion can work together (not nearly as heavy!), and fight some of the criticisms of Christianinty hating science:

 http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/video/video.php?v=48261586648

So recently, I have been brainstorming ideas with my friend Ben about some new videos for my non-profit, greenLockers. In my search through youtube for some style ideas, I ran across some videos associated with a cause called “girl effect”. I thought they were pretty well done, and so I just wanted to share them with you:

and another

Have you been grazing spiritually lately. . . . OR. . . .Have you recently had a mountain top experience of some sort? – Feeling pretty confident about you spiritual life and your ability to impact people who are hurting and broken? Be careful!!!! You are now more dangerous than ever to the enemy, and you better believe that he is lurking like a lion (1 Peter 5:8) – and he is going to try and bring you down as soon as possible. . . . . are you married? (it doesn’t matter for how long). . . . then let’s talk, because within marriage lies one of the most commonly used attacks of the devil . . . why? – because, unfortunately, it works a lot of the time!

First warning. . . if you think this doesn’t apply to you, and that there really is no need to read this. . . . . I really don’t know why God will ever tell you that. . . .so, you might want to check the source of that thought – AND keep reading! You also might want to pray that God be with you as you read. . . . once again, if that sounds like a ridiculous thing to do?? . . . . . . . that’s not coming from God. . . do it – get Him involved.

First let’s talk about some basic characteristics of the enemy – I recommend you watch the weekend service from Granger Community Church from this past weekend (3/8/09) entitled “Sex for Sale” – watch it here (www.gccwired.com)  – where Mark Beeson explains the 3 hats of satan

Hat #1 – Tempter – trying to sell you lies like -  “this (whatever act the temptation involves) is not that bad. . . noone will know. . . and it doesn’t matter anyway, because it’s not that wrong . . . you can totally handle it. . . other people, stupid people, get caught – but your not stupid. . . . . it’s just this one time. . . . . just a little bit won’t hurt” – and after every step that you take, the enemy tempts you with the next one – and notice. . . . it is usually a slow/gradual process.

Hat #2 – Promoter – after he has tempted you he then tries to sell you lies like “this is going to be the best ever. . . . so fulfilling, it’s going to feel so good – you will feel so taken care of, so complete, so alive, so. . . . . . right – this is what you have been missing out on for soooo long!”

Hat#3 – Accuser – after you have commited the sinful act, he then tries to sell you lies like “I can’t believe you did THAT. . . you are horrible!!! – your toast now – God will never take you back. . . . might as well not even fight it – just give in all the way. . . you can’t resist it . . . you’ve already proven that!. . . . it will never go away. . . there is nothing you can do!. . . you knew it was wrong, but you did it anyway – that is the worst of the worst – not even God wants you back now!”

Let me be very clear. . .satan is the father of lies (John 8:44), which means. . . all he does is tell lies. . . so, these “hats” are ALL LIES – every single one!!

So, what does this have to do with you?

So, what is your weak spot when comes to your marriage?? What do you feel like your spouse is not giving you enough of?? especially things that you think you deserve?? Here is a quick list of some of  these maybe

1. Sex

2. Quality time together . . . that they actually WANT to spend

3. being valued and appreciated for all that you do

4. Sharing an emotional connection – talking about things that are close to your heart. . . . EVEN YOUR FAITH!

5. Passion, desire, adventure, fun

6. A sense of peace (or lack of tension)

etc….

HAVE NO DOUBT IN YOUR MIND that this area of resentment in your life has a huge bullseye painted on it – and it is going to be attacked by the enemy using Hat #1 and Hat#2 above

and if you don’t already have one – there may be someone entering into your life that just “happens” to provide an opportunity to have that resentment fulfilled. . . . . it’s called a strategy. . . and the enemy has been perfecting it for thousands of years!

The question then, reagarding our behavior, is NOT what is right and what is wrong – the question is what standard are you going to hold yourself to -  so as to be the brightest light possible for God’s kingdom – bring Him the most Glory – form the most solid Family – to be an inspiration for your friends/children/grandchildren. . . . . . because they will know, and they are watching. . . . . and in order prevent this, you need to have behavioral guidelines that will protect you from the lies of the enemy. . . especially the one that tells us that this is “really not a big deal”, and that “you can handle it”

Here are some questions to ask yourself (rate each one on a scale of 0-5 – with 0 being “no, not me at all” and 5 being “yes, that is me most of the time”):

1. Am I sharing more of my thoughts/feelings with someone else (of the opposite sex) than I am with my wife/husband?

2. Have I been thinking and getting excited about how I can see someone else (of the opposite sex) a little more often – even if it is with a larger group?

3. Am I, or could I be,  the major spiritual force in someone else’s (of the opposite sex) life right now – turning them towards Christ?

4. Do I have SOME excitement and/or attraction to someone else (of the opposite sex) when we physically touch in a supposed “neutral” way? – hand shakes, welcoming/parting hugs, a touch on the shoulder, arm, or knee, etc…

ok . . . Tally your points. . .

-

- if you have a total of 1 or more then you need to understand that you are most likely being attacked spiritually. . . AND. . . you are losing. . . . . . now what??!

1. Remember that some of the most effective “sells” of the enemy is that “this is not a problem – completely harmless”, and “you can totally handle it on your own.”

2. Remember that Paul tells us in the Bible to RUN from sexual sin and temptation (1 Cor 6:18) – so that means you need to stop cold turkey/put distance between you and him/her, STOP communication

3. This path to sexual sin is most often a very SLOW one – with gradual steps that you hardly notice . . . . it is a slow fade

4. Think about what kind of legacy/model you want for you, your marriage, your children, and grandchildren. . . . because they will remember these types of things forever!

5. Know that in this struggle, you have an opportunity to get even closer to God (who is strong enough to help you through this) and have a witness of strength. . . . . or become one of many who have sinned in this way only to hide and decay in shame and agony – saying to themselves “I don’t know how this happened. . . . . ”

6. Finally, know that sexual sin starts when you even lustfully (not just sex, but also companionship, etx…) think about somone else. . . . many of us have traveled down that path at some point – to differeing degrees. Repenting/confessing/being real with God wipes it all clean – from the one-time lustful thought to the full-fledged adulterous lifestyle that someone has lived for years. Don’t ever believe the lie that God won’t take you back (hat #3 above). . . . . . In fact, you may be reading this post for the exact reason of God desparately wanting you back . . . He’s just waiting on you to ask. . . . . . . . ask Him back in. . . and WHATEVER you have done. . . He is ready – right now -  willing AND capable, to help you turn this thing around. . .

I recently had a Bethel student – who was recalling going through some very difficult times – say that “handling adversity is the measure of a man.”

So, how are we doing men??

When our brothers, sisters, bosses, friends, or wives do something that frustrates us – how do we handle that?

Do we seek first to understand and serve even more before blowing up and trying to “control” the situation?? You know the bible talks about how we are supposed to love our wives like Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). You know how much crap some people in the global “Church” has done in the name of God – I am talking about horrific things – I mean people have been hurt emotionally, spiritually, even killed in the name of God . . . and you think your person has been doing it to you for a long time – some people have been misusing God’s word for hundreds of years.  but when has Jesus ever said “alright that’s it – no more forgiving. . . you know what. . . . I’m not going to love you anymore, I’m no longer going to serve you, no longer going to listen to your prayers, or give you any my time – you don’t deserve it!”. . . . never!

We don’t deserve that type of grace, and maybe our wives, our bosses, our children, our fathers, our friends, or whomever in our life doesn’t deserve it either. . . . . . . . . . . BUT, how you handle those situations/relationships truly is the MEASURE OF A MAN.

Oh, I have seen it many times in adults too. . . . A man can hide behind childish things like throwing fits, walking out, kicking other people out, not talking anymore, locking people out of rooms, avoiding it, ignoring it, drinking, always blaming the other person, never taking responsibility, being filled with pride, belittling or insulting others. . . even our wives in public!, refusing to listen, etc. . . . . -

The bible says that in our anger we should not sin (Ephesians 4:26-27 ) because it gives the devil a foothold in our lives. . . . so where do you think the devil is going to try and attack you and your life? One place for sure will be through your anger. . . the moments when you are seeking control over the situation or the person, but in reality- by becoming angry and childish . . . you have already turned away from self-control (i.e., a fruit of the Spirit). I know this is difficult – especially when you throw in all the other stresses in our lives that are weighing down on us. This is precisely the reason why how we deal with it is such a great measure. . . .
 

And all of this. . . . will show to our children, our wives (present or future), our grandchildren, our sons-in-law and daughters-in-law, our parents, and our friends what we are really made of. . . . how we handle adversity/conflict/difficult times. . . is the meausre of a man. . . . . . it is difficult, but don’t be passive like Adam in the garden watching Eve eat the fruit without saying anything!!!! that attitude of passivity/just letting things be how they always have been – will forever be one of our greatest temptations men! BE DIFFERENT . . . FIGHT FOR THE STANDARD OF LOVE THAT JESUS CHALLENGED US WITH- Let’s step up. . . let’s stop being little boys. . . and start being the men that God created us to be!! . . . Yes, you CAN get there. . . . . and if you don’t know really where to start – try praying this prayer first:

Father, I know that I have messed up, again, – you know all of the childish things that I do when I don’t feel loved or valued – when the people that I want love from the most don’t give it to me. You know that I have tried to stop doing some of these things from time to time, and it just never seems to work. So, I am just asking with all that I am that you transform me in some way so that when tough stuff comes – I will be able to respond in a way that would make you smile and be proud of me. . . I have no idea how to actually make that happen – I need you to show me – to teach me – please help me find a way Father. . .In Jesus’ name. . . Amen.

So, at 7:30 this morning in prayer chapel at Bethel College, I participated in a little 20 minute, Ash Wednesday ceremony. Let me tell you why. . . and a little more about what it means to me

First some history – where does this all come from anyways?? (Dr. Richard P. Bucher – http://www.orlutheran.com/html/ash.html)

Ash Wednesday, originally called dies cinerum (day of ashes) is mentioned in the earliest copies of the Gregorian Sacramentary, and probably dates from at least the 8th Century. One of the earliest descriptions of Ash Wednesday is found in the writings of the Anglo-Saxon abbot Aelfric (955-1020). In his Lives of the Saints, he writes, “We read in the books both in the Old Law and in the New that the men who repented of their sins bestrewed themselves with ashes and clothed their bodies with sackcloth. Now let us do this little at the beginning of our Lent that we strew ashes upon our heads to signify that we ought to repent of our sins during the Lenten fast.” Aelfric then proceeds to tell the tale of a man who refused to go to church for the ashes and was accidentally killed several days later in a boar hunt! Throughout the Middle Ages ashes were sprinkled on the head, rather than anointed on the forehead as in our day.

As Aelfric suggests, the pouring of ashes on one’s body (and dressing in sackcloth, a very rough material) as an outer manifestation of inner repentance or mourning is an ancient practice. It is mentioned several times in the Old Testament. What is probably the earliest occurrence is found at the very end of the book of Job. Job, having been rebuked by God, confesses, “Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes” (Job 42:6). Other examples are found in 2 Samuel 13:19, Esther 4:1,3, Isaiah 61:3, Jeremiah 6:26, Ezekiel 27:30, and Daniel 9:3. In the New Testament, Jesus alludes to the practice in Matthew 11:21: “Woe to you, Korazin! Woe to you, Bethsaida! If the miracles that were performed in you had been performed in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago in sackcloth and ashes.”

 - So, I received the ash cross on my forehead as the leader said to me “From dust you came and to dust you shall return” – (Genesis 3:19) – This is what God said to Adam and Eve after they had eaten the forbidden fruit. I do not have a lot of ancient rituals in my lifestyle, but they can be powerful to partake in.

It is not for show – in fact one of the traditional readings for Ash Weds. includes statements about not being boastful! (Matthew 6:16-18)

If anything it is a public proclamation that I have surrendered my life. In other words, I am telling the world that in order to be who I was created to be – I cannot operate on my own strength, wisdom, or reasoning. . . I have sinned, and though there is great joy in my salvation, sometimes the joy of freedom cannot fully be experienced without reflection on my personal dissappointment, mistakes, weaknesses, and failures. . . . . all the things that, apart from Jesus, hold me captive.

You see. . . sometimes I forget that I am called to a higher standard. I look around and have a sense consciously or unconsciously that I am doing alright – you know. . . . compared to a lot of other people.  I am faithful in marriage, I love my wife and children well, I have integrity at work, I have friends that I care for and pray for, I even have non-christian friends that I care for deeply, I give back to my community, I volunteer, I am slow to anger, I keep my body in shape, yada yada yada. . . . . . it’s easy isn’t it. . . .to compare ourselves to others to see “how we are doing”. . . . . NOT TODAY.

Today is a day to look at the distance I have yet to travel, to be reminded of where I have fallen short – not in the world’s eyes. . . but in God’s eyes.  Today (and really Lent in general) is where I have the opportunity to contemplate soberly what I have done so as to prepare myself to appreciate even more deeply what Jesus has done for me, and the hope that I and the whole world have . . . not in my strength, wisdom, and perseverance. . . but in Christ’s.

Some of the things that we recited this morning were:

We have not loved you with our whole heart, and mind and strength

We have not loved our neighbors as ourselves

We have not forgiven others, as we have been forgiven

We have been deaf to your call to serve, as Christ has served us

We have not been true to the mind of Christ

We have grieved your Holy Spirit

- — and then we went on to pray for our forgiveness, for God’s mercy and grace to cleanse us. . .

This cross today on my forehead represents a choice for me. . . I am choosing to be dependent on God and to accept the full life He has for me (John 10:10) over my freedom to be independent. 

In case you forget what this choice looks like – check out 2 Corinthians 6:3-13 – I added the bold for my emphasis today

³ We live in such a way that no one will stumble because of us, and no one will find fault with our ministry. ⁴ In everything we do, we show that we are true ministers of God. We patiently endure troubles and hardships and calamities of every kind. ⁵ We have been beaten, been put in prison, faced angry mobs, worked to exhaustion, endured sleepless nights, and gone without food. ⁶ We prove ourselves by our purity, our understanding, our patience, our kindness, by the Holy Spirit within us,^[a] and by our sincere love. ⁷ We faithfully preach the truth. God’s power is working in us. We use the weapons of righteousness in the right hand for attack and the left hand for defense. ⁸ We serve God whether people honor us or despise us, whether they slander us or praise us. We are honest, but they call us impostors. ⁹ We are ignored, even though we are well known. We live close to death, but we are still alive. We have been beaten, but we have not been killed. ¹⁰ Our hearts ache, but we always have joy. We are poor, but we give spiritual riches to others. We own nothing, and yet we have everything.

I am not a perfect parent . . . and I will never claim to be. I do have 3 (soon to be 4) small children of my own, and I teach Child Growth and Development, Adolescent Growth and Development, School-age Growth and Development, and Lifespan Growth Development here at Bethel College. . . . so, I am allowing a little room for me to speak on the issue.

PARENTS, we can do better on many things – I’m picking 5:

1. pay attention to our children – listen to them like we care (i.e., eye contact, etc…). Do we realize how simple it is for children to understand. . . . . “Mommy/Daddy have choices – just like I have choices. . . . I like to choose what I want to do. . . what’s important to me. . . . . . if mommy/daddy chooses TV, work, cell phone, internet, chores, etc… – then it must mean those things are more important than me. . . . they must want to do those things more than pay attention/play with me. . . . “. – parents we can do better.

   – do we all need breaks, are there things that need to get done - absolutely, but if this is the consistent pattern - there is no doubt about the message that we are sending.

2. Do what we want our children to do –  we can talk all we want, but all the research that I know says over and over and over – the most powerful and frequent way that children learn is through imitation and modeling. . . translation – “do what I say, not what I do” – NOT GOING TO CUT IT!!  

So, if we want our children to be better TV/movie watchers than readers/creative thinkers/problem solvers/relationship makers, etc… - we know what to do, . . .  if we want them learn how to just do enough hard work to “get by” – then go ahead and lets show them, . . . . if we want them to learn how to be an expert at complaining then let’s keep it up, . . . .  if we want them to learn how to take first and give/serve/ask later. . . . then don’t ever let them see you serve or give without getting anything in return, . . . . if we want them to not know how to resolve conflict in relationships, marriage or just general frustrations. . . then we should continue to blow up and just accuse people, . . . . .if we don’t want them to know how much more of life they can experience and enjoy if they are a physically healthy – then we should never let them see us exercise or eat right, . . . .if we don’t want them to understand the value of good physical contact/comfort – then never hug them, never hold them. . . . .If we don’t want them to know how important our faith, the bible, our husband, our wife is. . . . then never talk about them - -  at least not in a positive way, . . . . and if we don’t want them to know how much we love’em – then by all means . . . . never tell’em.

BUT IF WE WANT THE OPPOSITE FOR OUR CHILDREN – then know. . . . . it needs to start with us. . . and it can! – we can do better.

3. Monitor what goes in and how often - this is a tough one, because I am not one to say that “we should shelter our children” – so let me explain with some academic stuff. What is stored in our Long Term Memory (LTM)?  The things that really last are things that are important to us in some way (i.e., relevant, useful in life, etc…), and the primary way of getting things from short term memory (STM) into LTM is through repetition (i.e., rehearsing information, stories, people’s names and faces, etc…). So, in a sense, . . .  anything that gets repeated enough has a semi-free pass into LTM, which means it will likely be tagged as “important” – useful in our life. . . trustworthy in some sense. . . . . the question is then. . . . what is repeated that much in our children’s lives – relationships, parental dialogue, adult TV/movies, very violent video games, etc…. - – Their filter of processing information is NOT THE SAME as ours – - and know, that if repeated enough. . . one of two things will happen as the information is stored in LTM - 1). they will come to think that it’s ok – and thus, start to apply those modelled behaviors as trustworthy in their life 2). they will become numb to them, and in essence, lose their ability to see how damaging such behaviors could be. – - – again, this is a tough one, but trying to walk this fine line is worth the effort – we can do better.

4. Let them play - most of the major cognitive-learning theorists agree that “play” is the best way for young children especially, to learn new information – not football lessons at age 2, or piano at age 3. . . . these are ok too, but repeatedly – we have seen that children take in more information during “structured play” than during some of these other “lesson” activities. In fact, much research suggests that around 6  is when “lessons” can start to be most effective, and children that have “not had lessons” before this time – are able to “catch up” easily. . . . we can do better.

5. Keep sports fun – let’s not embarress ourselves and our children by acting certain ways at sporting events. I know that many of us think that we are just “helping” the referee see things so that he/she can call a better game, or that we are just “encouraging” our kids to do better by pointing out their flaws “or areas of improvement”, or just rewarding them about their good job by paying them money, etc….. – - – - that is not how it works . . . . time and time again, children are hurt and embaressed by our actions – so much so that they may rather quit something they used to love just so they wouldn’t feel the eyes of their teamates when we (the parents) yell during games, or because of the pressure they feel to perform, or because they no longer are free to just have fun. . . .

I have witnessed these things as a child, young adult, and as a parent – we can do better!

I saw this commercial and it struck me -

BUT, I really do believe that we ALL can do better – these are not just our children, they are the hope of the future. . . . our future. . .

For example, there is such value in sports – team/collectivist mindset, learning to share the burden of defeat and the celebration of victory with others, work ethic, fun, enjoying your abilities, creating great memories of all that happens on your bus trips, etc……

This is how my love of sports collides passionately with my role as a father. I feel like this video (thanks Corey) really brings out the best in all of us. Watch the teenagers come together – listen to the words of the Father. . . . I think God was really smiling about this

WOW! What a Day!!! I first and foremost just want to thank God for allowing the event to be pulled off without a hitch. Secondly, most of the credit goes to many of you. . .  the people that gave up so much of their time and energy (primarily through shivering) on Saturday to be the face of greenLockers. This was the first public appearance of greenLockers (this year – new name, new nonprofit status, and new logo) to the public as a whole here, and I could not have been more pleased!

Let me give you some of my highlights:

1. Dark and early 7:35am on Sat. morning go on camera with Nick from WNDU – trying to get the word out early – interviewed by the entrance to Martin’s or what I like to call – the “Wind tunnel” ~ -8 wind chill they said. . . . I was praying for the commitment of my team and my community – that all would turn out – they did not disappoint!

2. ~ 8:00am -  The Martin’s manager – Doug – at Ironwood and SR23 – helping me shovel the sidewalk for 10 minutes. . . with no coat on (just a short-sleeved shirt) – and then bringing out coffee and and a fresh round of donuts – free of charge!!

3. My neighbor – Barb – gets a promo on the 8:15 live broadcast of WNDU’s morning show. . . I asked her the night before if she wanted to be on TV – why?. . . because I think everone over the age of 65 around here watches that show on Sat. morning – if they saw her up and contributing maybe they would too.  Once, again, saw many senior citizens on Sat. – I love their commitment and their smiles! – you can see some of WNDU’s video reports HERE

4. ~8:35 – My unbelievable sister-in-law Jennifer Thursby shows up (my partner in crime in organizing all of this!), and she is ready to ROCK! – I love her energy – she really made this thing work!!

5. ~8:45 – One of my great friends – Kevin shows up early to get things rolling at the ND Martin’s – - 2 stories involving Kevin – 1). good thing he was there, he had to call 9-1-1 later that morning for a woman who slipped on the ice . . . 2). people often pulled up to our table and then just popped open their trunk for us to get out the container . . . well, one time a car pulled up, and so naturally Kevin went back to the trunk and opened it. . . . that was until, the driver yelled back at him “what are you doing?!! – oops. . . . guess he didn’t have a bin   – thanks Kevin for your leadership and commitment.

6. ~ 9:00 – Trek down to the Western Avenue Martin’s where my good friend, and fellow Bethel professor, Josh Sauerwein had set up camp, along with some great volunteers! I was at this location – not because I thought it would bring in a ton of bins, but 3 other reasons: 1). This is an area that Entermission is pouring into with its community center (MC3), and I wanted to be an extension of that 2). This is an area that will be receiving a lot of our supplies come June, so I wanted to have a presence now, so they will trust us then 3). This area of town is desolate in many ways – this recession has pummeled them so much already – I wanted to be a light of hope on Sat., and the people I met were amazing! – at the end of the day, they ended up with 100 Bins- GREAT JOB! . . . . The information cards and green mints were an especially big hit here!

- side note – Ben Sanders (professional photographer and videographer) is AWESOME, and I so appreciate him hanging out with us today – got some great footage – thanks Ben!!!!

7. ~ 9:45 – over to Erskine Plaza to check on Amy Sipe and her crew. Soon after I show up . . . an older gentleman rolls up in a souped-up (sp?) Corvette and gives each of the young ladies roses – like a half-dozen each!! . . . . I also heard that there had been a guy there earlier yelling at them for being “green” – asking “why do you care about the environment anyway?!!!” – and then also commenting that “China is the real problem, and all we have to do is . . . .sell them FLORIDA – that would solve everything. . . . . . WHAT?!” – so, one of the volunteers commented “we are just collecting old recycling bins, man” . . . . . . . he said “Oh . . .” and then went away. . . . . . . . . . – at the end of the day, they ended up with 271 Bins- GREAT JOB!

8. ~11:00 - Over to Bittersweet to check out Marlyn and her crew – this was a tough location because a lot of Mishawaka residents did not get new recycling containers – they’re on a slightly different system. Once again, though, I want to be in Mishawaka schools come May, and so I wanted to make a good impression in the area – mission accomplished.  – at the end of the day, they ended up with 100 Bins- GREAT JOB!

9. ~12:00 noon – Back up to ND’s Martin’s . . . I am surprised to see around 10 volunteers hanging out collecting bins – GREAT! considering I only had like 3 scheduled. It just blew me away to see the performance of my volunteer team. . . I couldn’t be more proud!!

10. ~12:30 – get a call that WAOR – the Bear is having a super bowl contest at the Granger Martin’s, and Tia Brown (the volunteer leader at that location) has asked them for a spot on their live broadcast. . . . they said yes!!! So, I get up there, and watch some guy go nuts when he won the contest!! . . .and then walk outside to the van and do a live remote with Mike – GREAT!! – thanks WAOR for the free air time! By the way. . . well done Granger – between Heritage Square (which was NOT a drop-off site) and the Granger Martins – 200 bins!!

11. ~1:30 - Back to ND’s Martin’s to see that J aquila, and his volunteer team, has taken over the reigns nicely – and leading the charge into the last 1.5 hours. He also coordinates (and later stars in. . . ) another round of WNDU footage/interview (you can see some of WNDU’s video reports HERE). A South Bend Tribune reporter and photographer also stops by and gets some more information from us. . . not sure when that will be in the paper, but looking forward to it !! – way to go ND – at the end of the day, they ended up with 450 Bins- GREAT JOB!

12. ~2:45 – Brian Young and his crew load up the containers at ND (he donated his box truck – which was huge!), and I headed back down to Erskine Plaza to help out my second warhouse/truck team of Brian Thursby (my incredible brother-in-law) and Jacob Rendall. Just want to say thanks for Penske trucks as well, for helping us out with a truck this weekend!!  I was told that FOX 28 news had shown up and done an interview with Robert – one of the volunteers – check it out HERE.

13. ~4:00 – meet the two trucks at the 5-star warehouse in Elkhart and unload the bins. . . . . what a day. . . . . over 1100 bins . . . 34 volunteers . . . . and scores of ordinary people in the community wanting to be a part of something bigger than themselves!! – Can’t wait to see what’s next!!

Perspective is often a funny fellow of sorts, now I am not talking about Ha, Ha funny, but strange, weird, different kind of funny – hold-on flashback!! – lol (if you don’t know what I’m talking about click HERE and go to the “Drama” tab – click on “I miss you money”). Now back to it. . . at times I am convinced he will stay (like coming back from a mission trip – or going through a trauma). . . other times I am seeking desparately for her but she is nowhere to be found. I’ve had a bit of a roller coaster with perspective over the past few weeks – and here are just some thoughts -

 1. I lost 2 tremendous friends in death, and could have been killed myself. . . . I have a baby coming in 7 weeks

2. I second guess the authenticity of comments from long-time friends . . . I trust completely in communication with an Indian comrad I met for only 2 days

3. I question God whether I am the man to potentially lead a world changing movement. . . . He says, give me your 5 loaves and 2 fish.

4. I have worked several days in a row 15 hours a day. . . . 2 of my friends lost their jobs, and another is waiting to here -

5. I have seen the despair on a Father’s face as he comes to grips with not being able to provide for his family. . . . I have seen the joy and excitement on a child’s face as Daddy comes home from work.

6. I have felt pushed close to my human capacity as if backed into a corner of a room in my own mind/heart that I have never been before. . . . but. . . in that seldom seen dark corner – I have discovered a new, very small doorway, that I had never noticed before, and it leads into a much bigger, larger, and brighter room.  

7. Jesus the only one to have every “right” to not have to “deal with people” especially those that “have issues” or a “past” or those who are “lost” . . . . was proud to be known as “friend of sinners.”

8. With #7 in mind, I am challenged by this perspective: If you want to find Jesus, spend time with the people that He spent time with.

9. I have been exhausted physically and emotionally. . . only to be reminded of  true exhaustion - through a conversation with someone who was/is lonely. . . no friends. . . no support. . . no real relationships . . . . . . to turn to cry and noone’s there to wipe away your tears.

10. Being humbled to new depths as I am faced with many “problems” of rapid growth amidst such a national tidal wave of despair. . . . I do not understand it. . . . I threw “fairness” out the window 5 weeks ago. . . . my conclusion. . . . my real, true, and only hope in any circumstance is to fall to my knees and cry out “Dad, please come and help, my family, my integrity, my marriage, my work, my relationships, my present, my future, my everything. . . . it was yours to begin with – I’m not real sure why I took it away from you, but. . . . I am giving it back now – it’s so much better off in your hands Dad.”

I started Montessori school in Jackson, Tennessee when I was around 3, and I loved it!!!  My very first best friend in that school was a guy named Walter. I do not have a lot of memories of him other than I just loved to play with him on the playground and used to do some stuff in class with him.

But I do have one memory that is burned in my brain. He and I were leaving our classroom to walk somewhere – you know the good ol’days of single-file lines ! We were just having fun . . . joking around with each other – being silly, and then it happened. . . . . A couple of older kids were coming down the hallway towards us, and they looked at me in my eyes with disgust and said “What are you DOING!?!” . . . . . . .you see. . . . Walter was African American, and about the only one in the whole school. . . and well, . . . . where I was in Tennessee – Not everyone was ok with me being such great friends with “one of them”.

TODAY IS A BIG DAY –

When I was in sixth grade, I became friends with one of the new boys in my school named Ronnie. Once again, one of the few African Americans in my school. He and I were in the same home room class, and we hit it off well with each other. Ronnie was picked on a lot and even bullied by some of the older kids - and I just remember how angry it made me feel when they did that to him, but I was kind of round at the time, and not as bold as I am now. I remember that people would pick on him, until it was P.E. class, and then guys wanted him on their basketball team – because he could jump out of the gym. Man! did that make me mad!!!!! - and it gave Ronnie such a hard time being flipped back and forth. . . loved. . . despised. . . etc…

I remember one day one of my best friends (Scott W.) was picking on Ronnie, and I went up to Scott and threw a punch right towards his nose, but stopped about an inch away. . . . . and I told him to leave Ronnie alone.  I wish I could say things changed, but they really didn’t, and Ronnie left our school after that year. . .  a wounded boy.

TODAY IS A VERY BIG DAY –

and it is my opinion that regardless of who you voted for. . .  today is a tremendous day of hope for reconciliation, equality, and unity for all colors of people!!

I was driving along Cleveland yesterday on the way to rehearsal at GCC for a monologue I did this weekend, and traffic was packed in the right-hand lane coming up the hill right there where SR 23 breaks off to the South by UP mall. I was in the left-hand lane cruising along at like 15 mph without a car in front of me at all (and still about 50 yards to the light) . . . . . . and then a van decides to pull out of the right lane and into the left just as I was getting ready to pass her (i.e., I must have been in her blind spot). . . . . . there was nothing that I could do – no time to dodge . . . . in an instant, I heard a crunch, and then like a bumper car was spinning into the 2 lanes of oncoming traffic. . .praise God the light had only just turned green – so the oncoming traffic had plenty of time to slow down (if the timing would have been different. . . , well, I am not sure what would have happened, but I know what could have. . . ).  I pulled into a subdivision – long story short. . . I got a relatively small dent, some scratches. . . she was 16 and freaking out – it would have been really rough for her to have that on her record already. I decided to let her go. . . . but not not without trying to help her understand that we all make mistakes, . . . really it happens to everyone – then we talked a little more and we were on our way. . . . probably never to see each other again – and I prayed to God that in some way she had felt His presence in all of this. . .

It is amazing what happens when you realize for a moment that for some reason your life was spared. . .

you ask. . . why?

and though I cannot fully answer that question – especially in light of the unexplainable deaths of so many people everyday – including my aunt and uncle (see post below), but I do know one reason

I still must have work in God’s Kingdom bringing process to complete. . . . and I do not plan on wasting any time pursuing things for only myself or even my family – because those motivations pale in comparison to God’s will, which I trust already has what is best for me AND my family. Now this does not mean that I must run myself into the ground with busyness – I fully believe there is a divine rhythm  for me – for all of us. . . . . and a rhythm is nothing without its pauses (times when there is a rest/silence).

That being said though . . . I am on a renewed drive to crank up the amp on my electric guitar and ROCK! . . . .seriously, what is there to fear? . . . failure – no, because I believe that the only true failure is inaction, stagnation, being lukewarm, refusing to give God what little I have – -remember, God can never use you to feed 5000 if you never give him the 2 fish!

We were covering some social psychology stuff the other day in General Psychology - specifically, conformity and obedience.  So, . . . . . and I am sure you will all be surprised by this. . . . I decided to use some youtube videos to bring home some of the material.

I first showed them this video on conformity (a little old, but the students always get a kick out of the sweet clothes!), and it gets the students warmed up:)

I then ask for some of their reactions, but we do not spend very much time on it. . . because I am just wanting to lay the foundations for the next video:

I then go through a series of questions that the students respond to – usually in written form first (just because some people want time to collect their thoughts – and feel much more comfortable writing it all out first), and then we end up discussing them after we are all the way through. I give them a couple of minutes after each question to write out their responses . . . . a few more minutes after some of the more difficult ones (i.e., #6).

1. What are your intial reactions to this?
2. Why do you think it is that when Stanley Milgram (before he did the experiment) asked psychologists to predict what percentage of people they thought would go all the way to the lethal level of shock (450 volts) . . . the psychologists predicted only 1/10th of 1% . . . . . .?
3. Migram’s parents were Jewish refugees from Nazi Germany. . . how do you think this might of changed his view on Nazis?
4. What do these two videos/experiments tell us about the human race?
5. Do you think you would have gone all the way to the most severe shock if you were the “teacher” in the second video? . . . explain why
6. How do these two videos. . . and especially the second one. . . .relate to our faith. . . what we believe. . . and how we end of up believing certain things about our faith.
7. Define obedience
8. What type of obedience does God want from you?

What ensues then is a great discussion involving class material, personal experiences, and faith. . . . . . . and that combination, . . . . ALWAYS makes me happy. . . . .man! I love what I get to do:)!

So, Rob Wegner had a great little discussion about this video the other day on his blog. . . and I just wanted to continue it here:

What do you think this video means – is it good news or bad. . . or both . . . or neither? You tell me:

We have a saying in our house that we often repeat to our children . . . “be grateful, not greedy”. . . and “we share in this family”. . . . can’t quite be sure of how well they are working, but we want the principles to ring true in their lives — Especially, . . . as we are living in such an affluent society. There are other ways that we try and teach our children about giving, serving, appreciation, and sacrifice – - like serving at the rescue mission tomorrow morning, or reading through the World Vision  catalog that we got in the mail a month ago. . . over and over. . . – it is one of the kids’ favorite “books”.

There are many other ways to instill these principles. . . . my point is. . . . it IS worth it to do these things. . . to rehearse these statements to your children, . . .  and to yourself.

I have a former adult student/friend of mine that I have such respect for because of how genuinely he engaged not only my class, but his ownfaith journey. He commented to me one time that through my class he was finding his way back to church. . . .something he had not diligently considered for years – - I never told him, but that might have been one of the best compliments I have EVER received. . . . well, he sent me this video yesterday, and I just think his timing is great . . . . I personally. . . . . can NEVER be reminded enough. . . . .