http://1greengeneration.elementsintime.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/your_vote_counts_button_3.jpg

So why did I take time out of my day today to vote – confession time:

It is:

1. NOT because I have a deep belief that my vote actually makes a difference in the grand scheme of things as suggested in the picture above

2. NOT because I  feel guilty because of those who have given up their lives for this privilege – though that is true, and I am grateful

3. NOT because I feel like I even have a civic duty to do so

4. NOT because I enjoy getting bothered on the way into the polling place this morning with my 20 month old son who celebrated by several of the candidates’ groups as a “potential voter” in a few short years, and the actually trying to give him promotional materials. . . really??  Along with this came many people telling me how cute  he was. . . . at least that part is true – he really takes after his mother!

So why then did I vote . . . . ?

1. Simply put – I want to be able to speek my opinion to others and engage in the debate all year long. It is my belief that in order to do so without serious loads of hypocrisy, I need to put some action to my belief – engage in some level of physcal responsibility to my philosophical exercises of thought (especially if those exercises EVER involve complaints). It really does remind me of James 2:20 “. . .faith without works is dead” – because there is no evidence of your faith acutally being alive if there are no corresponding actions. Similarly (but in the contrapositive form), putting forth my vote on this day allows me to engage in lively/respectful discourse at other times because my voting has demonstrated LIFE in my beliefs.

2. Funny, but also true – I always love meeting new people in the line, and hearing just a bit of their story. . . . usually these are people I would never otherwise meet, and maybe. . . just maybe, I can bring some encouragement, and that itself is worth it! 

If you have not voted today I encourage you to do it . . . . for whatever reason you choose!

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I just thought I would put down some of my thoughts on how and why my and I went trick or treating last night. Here is an email I sent to a friend a couple of days ago about this issue. By the way, our firefirefighter, superman, spiderman, minny mouse, and pegasus had a great time:

Great question – we do allow our children to dress up for Halloween; however, no witches, ghosts, bloody skulls, etc… – really nothing that celebrates death, violence, or darkness. In coordination with this, our Fall decorations around the house are pumpkins, corn stalks, cute scarecrows – no black cats, ghosts, witches, mummies, etc…We have a great family time trick or treating around our neighborhood, and is honestly, one of the biggest ways we meet many of our neighbors (kids and adults), since they are rarely just “out and about” during other times of the year.

In the past few years, this whole experience has led to many conversations about witches, mummies, ghosts, violent characters (you the kids with an axe stuck in their head and “blood” that is all over their head), and other things that we believe have made them aware of how our beliefs/behaviors are different from the world’s.

Other “teaching moments” that come up during this time include greediness and even lust with candy, as well as nutritional things about candy and certain ingredients that we find in the candy themselves (because we rarely have candy or a lot of sweets in our house). This participation without celebration of darkness is how Ang and I have decided to walk the line of “in the world, but not of the world”. I would love to hear from others on this as well.

Peace

Ted

P.s. we also have our own theories on what to do with the Easter bunny and Santa Claus – so this conversation can continue throughout the year

 
 
If you learn to trust me – really trust me – with your whole being, then nothing can separate you from my peace.  Everything you endure can be put to good use by allowing it to train you in trusting Me.  This is how you foil the works of evil, growing in grace through the very adversity that was meant to harm you.  Joseph was a prime example of this divine rehearsal, declaring to his brothers: “you meant evil againt me, but God meant it for good”.  Do not fear what this day, or any day, may bring your way.  Concentrate on trusting Me and on doing what needs to be done.  Relax in My sovereignty, remembering that I go before you, as well as with you, into each day.  Fear no evil, for I can bring good out of every situation you will ever encounter. 
 
—-From the “Jesus Calling” devotional by Sarah Young.  Genesis 50:20; Psalm 23;4.

and finally, one of my favorite passages of scripture (Hebrews 12:12-13) because it fuels me to live to the edge of my possibility:

¹² So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees. ¹³ Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong.

Anyways, I want to share just briefly a few things that have helped clarify some of the issues in my class discussions, and also a couple of videos that have been great for discussion.

First of all, this is not a religion or philosophy class, and so I do not debate the sin nature of homosexuality in class because that is what most of the students expect – a debate about what is the TRUTH. . . . consequently, in my experience, that is the only thing the students are prepared to take about. We take the stance of many churches – that homosexual behavior is a sin. . . and we go from there (I have additional materials for the students about the “truth” debate if they want it, and the subject is covered in more detail in other ways here at Bethel). . . it is amazing to me; however, that many people cannot even think past this truth concept – to see that there are other very important issues about this topic that we are failing to address.

Another way of viewing my purpose is to look at a familar phrase:

Truth in love (Eph 4:15) - Once again, not messing with the truth part – that is definitely a huge part of how Jesus was uncommon, but the “in love” – which is an expression of “how” we are to express the truth – that is what made him a walking revolution - he was revolutionary not just for what he said but for what he did - healing on the Sabbath, touching the leper, going to Matthew’s house, talking to the woman at well, and associating with prostitutes! He chose to not condemn the world, but to save it (John 3:17). . . which starts with forming a relationship with someone, getting to know someone before we could ever share “truth” about heated issues.

In my experience, when people focus only on the truth in these situations then judgement/condemnation is already on its way – and can be felt by those around them. However, when I focus on the “in love” then judgement stays away, and the other person is more open to talking because they trust that I care about them. . . not just their sexuality. . . – I refuse to live in a way that reduces the immense/Jesus sacrificing value of another human being’s life and experience to simply an alterior motive and/or a grossly stereotyped label. . . and I think Jesus models that behavior over and over in scripture. 

Videos:

Interesting dichotomies here to notice in these videos:

Acceptance vs Approval - we use these terms interchangeably at times with regard to this issue, and yet these terms are critically different.

Attitude vs Belief- Again, attitudes may change without changes in beliefs. . . .misusing these terms can cause serious wounds.

Watch this video to get a fresh look at “hate the sin, love the sinner”. . . one of the most popular Christian phrases regarding this issue.

Though our marshmallows are often more complex than this illustration, our obsession with them is no less intense, and our consumption of them no less obvious. Allow the Holy Spirit to give you eyes to see and ears to hear today what these might be in your life.

- Thanks Sue for the video

The Walterhouses shared their story with us, which involved his addiction to porn for almost 20 years starting at age 14, and carrying through his entire training to be a pastor and his pastorship until he was caught. No one knew. . . . . not his wife. . . . . not his “accountability” partner. . . . no one.  These are some lies that he believe that kept him in bondage:

1. I’m the only person struggling with this sin - now he knew others were dealing with it, but not as bad as him, and wasn’t it supposed to go away after marriage – that’s what other people had told him. . . . what was wrong with him??

2. Everyone struggles with this sin (Lie of rationalization/justification) – in other words, when he heard his discipleship leader make a comment about “just because he is on a diet [i.e., he is married] doesn’t mean he can’t look at the menu” – he figured that this is just a man’s cross to bare, and that all men are dealing with it, so it is really not that big a deal.

3. I’m not hurting anyone else (Lie of denial) – this is just affecting me, noone else is getting hurt. Side not here from me – first of all, “you bring you into every relationship, thus, if you are affected then all of your relationships are affected!” Second, you only have a limited amount of passion and desire, and if you are using up some or most of it on porn, then guess who gets short-changed?. . . . your spouse, your friends, your vocation, etc….

4. I can get victory over this sin (Lie of self-effort) – in other words, if I would just confess it enough, pray about it enough, go to enough church camps, etc…. (his list was fairly long here) . . . then I can kick this thing myself, and noone has to know.

5. I can NEVER get victory over this sin (Lie of hopelessness) – After believing lie #4 and trying as hard as he could many, many times. . . he came to the conclusion that all was hopeless in conquering this. Side note from me: this is not uncommone to see with those struggling with addiction, and it goes something like this. People can maybe envision being strong for a few hours, or a day, but once they start imagining being strong for a week or 2 weeks, a month? – they feel overwhelmed, b/c there is no way they are strong enough for that!! and so they say “screw-it” might as well just give in now. . . .

You know what . . . part of them is right – the state they are in right now, they can’t make it a month, but the secret (that the enemy does not want you to know) is that Day 12 is not as hard as Day 1, and that you are being transformed throughout, so that one day at a time. . . you are getting stronger – sure you will fall, but God is there to keep building you up.

So, keys to victory, according to the Walterhouses:

1. Press in clost to the heart of God – emphasis on the HEART! – and that heart is of love and grace, yes. . . . even for this! He is ready to help and bring you back home!

2. be open with your sexual struggles (or hidden sin) with someone that has bite – in other words confess in a radical way – to people that might leave a mark (i.e., a spouse, an RD, etc…)

3. Call it what it really is. . . . Sin and Lies - and just like any sin, when grown fully leads to death.

One last note from my heart on this:

Deep within each man is a desire to be wanted, and wanted sexually – those images, those pictures. . . you know what they are telling men? “I want you” – “I WANT YOU” – “you don’t have to change, I will except you just the way you are, you don’t have to work to convince me – I am all yours”. That temptation strikes to the core of most men – you take into consideration that men or visually driven, and you have the recipe for a “fall.”

There is so much more to be said on this, but that is it for now – pray for the boys/men and girls/women that are in this addiction right now please – they need all of our help.

I feel God closest in either one of two ways. First, when I am in a different culture than my own – especially on a mission trip of some sort. I have been blessed to be able to travel around the world quite a bit, and many times I see God most clearly when I am staring into the face and the life of someone who is doesn’t look, act, or talk like me. Second, when I am on my last leg. This may the result of busyness sometimes, but when I need to get something done, but have no idea how to do it. . . .and no time to figure it out. . . God comes through in the clutch for me, when I am most vulnerable – I love that about Him!

There are also 2 main ways that I feel disconnected from God. First, a little background . . . see, many people are told the lie that “they’re not good enough” for much of their life – maybe from Mom and Dad, or a teacher, coach, or peer – and that can bury people, but that was not the case for me. See, most of my life I have been told, by many well-meaning people, a different lie that is just as dangerous – “I AM good enough.” At times, I can believe that I have all that it takes to succeed on my own – the talent, experience, athletic ability, looks, intellect, marriage, family, etc…. when I do, God usually feels distant b/c I have usually left Him in the dust. Second, I have often times in my life had an idol of “happiness” – and I pursue it fervently – moreso than God. Now, this is not neccesarily pursuing shallow things or buying “toys”, in fact, I am often times worshiping happiness with just establishing the simple expectation every day that a successful, God-honoring day must entail me being happy by the end of it. This is what I now know to be true – true happiness/joy cannot be pursued directly, but it is a perspective that is gained ONLY as a result of pursuing and trusting in God’s plans/purposes/work for me each and every day. Some days are difficult others. . . not so much – over time God’s spirit inside of me is teaching me the perspective of true joy, but when I ignore this guidance, and worship happiness – I distance myself from God.

This is not just for me. . . . this what I want to bring to my wife, and my children. Just like in the workplace, who can the boss can use most? Capable people that are willing to give up the most. I pray for the courage to risk in life – not stupid things – but those things that have eternal potential – love, forgiveness, time, etc… and I want my wife and kids to be able to look to me to help inspire their own God-ordained risks.

10. There is nothing like mid 70s and Sunny to create smiles on a college campus!. . . except for maybe free pizza

9. With regards to why I study Cognitive Psychology (how the brain processing information) – Romans 12:2 is my new favorite reason!

8. Death sucks!- no other way to say it. There is so much pain in dealing with someone close to you passing – Praise God that He has victory over Death! 

7. There is a lot of tension between Science and the Church – why? one reason is because the foundation for theories/beliefs in Science is evidence whereas the foundation of Christianity is Faith, which by definition is belief despite there not being quantifiable evidence

6. One of the hardest things about being Christian is living in the balance between preparation/prediction/planning and SIMLULATANEOUSLY being completely open to the unpredictability of the Holy Spirit, which could instantly erase all your plans

5. When the Holy Spirit shows up amidst a Chapel service about cultural reconciliation, Hope and Healing seem so close – Please . . . let them come!

4. The majority culture says “you [minority culture] are ok – I accept/welcome you” but the Minority Culture doesn’t “feel” it. . . . . . why?? It is neccessary for the Minority culture to learn all the details about the majority culture in order to survive and thrive. . . . however, when the Majority culture does not pursue the details of minority culture in the same way. . . in essence it is saying “your details are not necessary” – back to square 1 – the majority retains higher ground simply due to its ability to “choose” what it pursues. . . . and that freedom/lack of pursuit of the majority translates into arrogance and ignorance for a minority viewer – a hypocrisy of sorts. . . true acceptance does not come from a stated belief but can only come through authentic pursuit. . . . ever heard of a guy named JESUS? ****welcoming words without true pursuit of a culture is meaningless

3. What if science brings God joy like the joy that I get watching my daughter figure out a puzzle together all by herself?

2. I have such a heart for wanting Marriages to be healed, and specifically, through the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2) – there is great value in studying your spouse.

1. Honestly (and praise God this is true!), the BEST part of my day is when I get to see my beautiful wife and continue the day’s “adventure” (and sometimes it really is ). . . together

She was discussing how plants that grow on continents (e.g., North America) have a lot of defense mechanisms – like thorns:

as well as many other things – like the poison that Black Walnut trees emit so that no other trees can grow around them. Of course, these are all characteristics that over time. . . have allowed the plant to continue to grow and reproduce (i.e., not get eaten by herbivores), but I wonder if it is worth it?

This is all very fascinating, but the realization is that all of these defense mechanisms take a lot of energy to make. . . energy that could be used to make more seeds, produce bigger fruit, and grow faster.

ISN’T THIS US??. . . . . how much time do we spend on protecting ourselves? – you know, not being authentic, hiding our true selves from others, not loving, not serving, not submitting, seeking control and power in relationships, etc….     – the fact is we are wasting our time and energy . . .

Dr. Weakland went on to say that plants on the islands of Hawaii (and most other islands) are very different.  Since they have not been around nearly as long. . . they have yet to adapt to have some of those defense mechanisms, and instead. . . . you see plants using their full energy in producing beautiful things to their fullest potential (i.e., fruit, flowers, etc…) – in fact she said that the biggest rasberrys in the world grow there, why are they so big?? Because they DON’T HAVE ANY THORNS – they can dedicate all of their energy to producing fruit.

Think about all of the things that we do to produce defense mechanisms to protect ourselves from being hurt or even “eaten” by others  INSTEAD OF USING THAT ENERGY TO PRODUCE FRUIT that we were meant to produce:

love

joy

peace

patience

kindness

goodness

faithfulness

gentleness 

self-control

Let’s all start using our time – our days – our minutes – our strength – our energy – NOT FOR THORNS, but for making the fruit we were created for.

There has sense been informal discussions among some Bethel faculty concerning this video, and so I just wanted to let you in on some of that – if your brain doesn’t hurt too much already

“I’m afraid that I detect some biases in these arguments that seem to be at the root of the issue.

Take a look, for instance, at 2:16.  There is a claim that a lack of (natural) explanation giving rise to a conclusion that an event is supernatural is a contradiction.  To quote the video, “In effect, it is saying that ‘I can’t explain something; therefore, I can explain it.’”  I’m afraid this is false.  What’s being claimed is not that a phenomenon cannot be explained, but that it cannot be explained using natural processes.  Thus, the argument is really, “This process cannot be explained through natural processes; therefore, supernatural processes must be employed.”  There are actually arguments like this made in mathematics:  that a particular system (in our case, an axiomatic system) is not sufficient to answer a particular question, so something outside of that system must be brought in to explain it.

While I can appreciate the argument by the person on the left side (at 0:52), the crux of their argument seems to be bashing the “non-scientific person” because they are not open to natural explanations.  At the same time, isn’t the person on the left falling into the same trap by denying (for instance, at 0:17) the possibility of any supernatural explanations for phenomena, thereby also excluding certain conclusions?  I can accept a scathing rebuke of the group on the right that attributes everything to ghosts (though I think a straw man argument has been set up here), but I think there are more than just the two sides.  We appear to have an excluded middle.  Can we not be open to both natural and supernatural explanations?

In fact, this leads down a very interesting road.  How far does one need to go to exhaust natural explanation before it can no longer be invoked?  The analogous questions in math (in terms of axiomatic systems) have answers.  A lot of work was done in these areas since the 1930s and Goedel’s incompleteness theorem.  I am surprised this is not being asked in the scientific community.  The issue I have is, are these questions even being allowed to be asked?  If not, why not?”

Here is another video about how science and religion can work together (not nearly as heavy!), and fight some of the criticisms of Christianinty hating science:

 http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/video/video.php?v=48261586648

and another

First warning. . . if you think this doesn’t apply to you, and that there really is no need to read this. . . . . I really don’t know why God will ever tell you that. . . .so, you might want to check the source of that thought – AND keep reading! You also might want to pray that God be with you as you read. . . . once again, if that sounds like a ridiculous thing to do?? . . . . . . . that’s not coming from God. . . do it – get Him involved.

First let’s talk about some basic characteristics of the enemy – I recommend you watch the weekend service from Granger Community Church from this past weekend (3/8/09) entitled “Sex for Sale” – watch it here (www.gccwired.com)  – where Mark Beeson explains the 3 hats of satan

Hat #1 – Tempter – trying to sell you lies like -  “this (whatever act the temptation involves) is not that bad. . . noone will know. . . and it doesn’t matter anyway, because it’s not that wrong . . . you can totally handle it. . . other people, stupid people, get caught – but your not stupid. . . . . it’s just this one time. . . . . just a little bit won’t hurt” – and after every step that you take, the enemy tempts you with the next one – and notice. . . . it is usually a slow/gradual process.

Hat #2 – Promoter – after he has tempted you he then tries to sell you lies like “this is going to be the best ever. . . . so fulfilling, it’s going to feel so good – you will feel so taken care of, so complete, so alive, so. . . . . . right – this is what you have been missing out on for soooo long!”

Hat#3 – Accuser – after you have commited the sinful act, he then tries to sell you lies like “I can’t believe you did THAT. . . you are horrible!!! – your toast now – God will never take you back. . . . might as well not even fight it – just give in all the way. . . you can’t resist it . . . you’ve already proven that!. . . . it will never go away. . . there is nothing you can do!. . . you knew it was wrong, but you did it anyway – that is the worst of the worst – not even God wants you back now!”

Let me be very clear. . .satan is the father of lies (John 8:44), which means. . . all he does is tell lies. . . so, these “hats” are ALL LIES – every single one!!

So, what does this have to do with you?

So, what is your weak spot when comes to your marriage?? What do you feel like your spouse is not giving you enough of?? especially things that you think you deserve?? Here is a quick list of some of  these maybe

1. Sex

2. Quality time together . . . that they actually WANT to spend

3. being valued and appreciated for all that you do

4. Sharing an emotional connection – talking about things that are close to your heart. . . . EVEN YOUR FAITH!

5. Passion, desire, adventure, fun

6. A sense of peace (or lack of tension)

etc….

HAVE NO DOUBT IN YOUR MIND that this area of resentment in your life has a huge bullseye painted on it – and it is going to be attacked by the enemy using Hat #1 and Hat#2 above

and if you don’t already have one – there may be someone entering into your life that just “happens” to provide an opportunity to have that resentment fulfilled. . . . . it’s called a strategy. . . and the enemy has been perfecting it for thousands of years!

The question then, reagarding our behavior, is NOT what is right and what is wrong – the question is what standard are you going to hold yourself to -  so as to be the brightest light possible for God’s kingdom – bring Him the most Glory – form the most solid Family – to be an inspiration for your friends/children/grandchildren. . . . . . because they will know, and they are watching. . . . . and in order prevent this, you need to have behavioral guidelines that will protect you from the lies of the enemy. . . especially the one that tells us that this is “really not a big deal”, and that “you can handle it”

Here are some questions to ask yourself (rate each one on a scale of 0-5 – with 0 being “no, not me at all” and 5 being “yes, that is me most of the time”):

1. Am I sharing more of my thoughts/feelings with someone else (of the opposite sex) than I am with my wife/husband?

2. Have I been thinking and getting excited about how I can see someone else (of the opposite sex) a little more often – even if it is with a larger group?

3. Am I, or could I be,  the major spiritual force in someone else’s (of the opposite sex) life right now – turning them towards Christ?

4. Do I have SOME excitement and/or attraction to someone else (of the opposite sex) when we physically touch in a supposed “neutral” way? – hand shakes, welcoming/parting hugs, a touch on the shoulder, arm, or knee, etc…

ok . . . Tally your points. . .

-

- if you have a total of 1 or more then you need to understand that you are most likely being attacked spiritually. . . AND. . . you are losing. . . . . . now what??!

1. Remember that some of the most effective “sells” of the enemy is that “this is not a problem – completely harmless”, and “you can totally handle it on your own.”

2. Remember that Paul tells us in the Bible to RUN from sexual sin and temptation (1 Cor 6:18) – so that means you need to stop cold turkey/put distance between you and him/her, STOP communication

3. This path to sexual sin is most often a very SLOW one – with gradual steps that you hardly notice . . . . it is a slow fade

4. Think about what kind of legacy/model you want for you, your marriage, your children, and grandchildren. . . . because they will remember these types of things forever!

5. Know that in this struggle, you have an opportunity to get even closer to God (who is strong enough to help you through this) and have a witness of strength. . . . . or become one of many who have sinned in this way only to hide and decay in shame and agony – saying to themselves “I don’t know how this happened. . . . . ”

6. Finally, know that sexual sin starts when you even lustfully (not just sex, but also companionship, etx…) think about somone else. . . . many of us have traveled down that path at some point – to differeing degrees. Repenting/confessing/being real with God wipes it all clean – from the one-time lustful thought to the full-fledged adulterous lifestyle that someone has lived for years. Don’t ever believe the lie that God won’t take you back (hat #3 above). . . . . . In fact, you may be reading this post for the exact reason of God desparately wanting you back . . . He’s just waiting on you to ask. . . . . . . . ask Him back in. . . and WHATEVER you have done. . . He is ready – right now -  willing AND capable, to help you turn this thing around. . .

So, how are we doing men??

When our brothers, sisters, bosses, friends, or wives do something that frustrates us – how do we handle that?

Do we seek first to understand and serve even more before blowing up and trying to “control” the situation?? You know the bible talks about how we are supposed to love our wives like Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). You know how much crap some people in the global “Church” has done in the name of God – I am talking about horrific things – I mean people have been hurt emotionally, spiritually, even killed in the name of God . . . and you think your person has been doing it to you for a long time – some people have been misusing God’s word for hundreds of years.  but when has Jesus ever said “alright that’s it – no more forgiving. . . you know what. . . . I’m not going to love you anymore, I’m no longer going to serve you, no longer going to listen to your prayers, or give you any my time – you don’t deserve it!”. . . . never!

We don’t deserve that type of grace, and maybe our wives, our bosses, our children, our fathers, our friends, or whomever in our life doesn’t deserve it either. . . . . . . . . . . BUT, how you handle those situations/relationships truly is the MEASURE OF A MAN.

Oh, I have seen it many times in adults too. . . . A man can hide behind childish things like throwing fits, walking out, kicking other people out, not talking anymore, locking people out of rooms, avoiding it, ignoring it, drinking, always blaming the other person, never taking responsibility, being filled with pride, belittling or insulting others. . . even our wives in public!, refusing to listen, etc. . . . . -

The bible says that in our anger we should not sin (Ephesians 4:26-27 ) because it gives the devil a foothold in our lives. . . . so where do you think the devil is going to try and attack you and your life? One place for sure will be through your anger. . . the moments when you are seeking control over the situation or the person, but in reality- by becoming angry and childish . . . you have already turned away from self-control (i.e., a fruit of the Spirit). I know this is difficult – especially when you throw in all the other stresses in our lives that are weighing down on us. This is precisely the reason why how we deal with it is such a great measure. . . .
 

And all of this. . . . will show to our children, our wives (present or future), our grandchildren, our sons-in-law and daughters-in-law, our parents, and our friends what we are really made of. . . . how we handle adversity/conflict/difficult times. . . is the meausre of a man. . . . . . it is difficult, but don’t be passive like Adam in the garden watching Eve eat the fruit without saying anything!!!! that attitude of passivity/just letting things be how they always have been – will forever be one of our greatest temptations men! BE DIFFERENT . . . FIGHT FOR THE STANDARD OF LOVE THAT JESUS CHALLENGED US WITH- Let’s step up. . . let’s stop being little boys. . . and start being the men that God created us to be!! . . . Yes, you CAN get there. . . . . and if you don’t know really where to start – try praying this prayer first:

Father, I know that I have messed up, again, – you know all of the childish things that I do when I don’t feel loved or valued – when the people that I want love from the most don’t give it to me. You know that I have tried to stop doing some of these things from time to time, and it just never seems to work. So, I am just asking with all that I am that you transform me in some way so that when tough stuff comes – I will be able to respond in a way that would make you smile and be proud of me. . . I have no idea how to actually make that happen – I need you to show me – to teach me – please help me find a way Father. . .In Jesus’ name. . . Amen.