Watch these video instructions that played at the Christmas Eve service this past year and tell me how long you think it took to shoot it?

Well, if you guessed roughly 3 hours – then you are dead on

Also by watching this video it looks like my two oldest children are complete pros – they ARE great but remember. . . this took 3 hours – lol!

Here’s the deal. My kids (6 and 5 at the time) are fantastic, and they did a great job, but this was no cake-walk. dsBen Sanders (the AMAZING videographer) and I had to have a different perspective than what I see from many parents today.

1. Making an experience memorable may not mean the whole experience is fun, though we did have some fun too!
2. In parenting, we need to have the perspective of what will actually be remembered – in this case, the finished product.
3. There is no way to teach that hard-work pays off. . . . unless you actually have to work hard for something.
4. Stretching me as a parent into more patience IS one way that God makes me more like Jesus.

Being a parent is not all about what you get out of it you know. . . in fact, most of it isn’t – because you almost never realize what exactly you are getting out it, until “it” is over. So, do what it takes to give your children memorable experiences, it will benefit everyone in the long run!

OK – don’t give me a hard time . . . I know that it is March, and I am just now posting our letter and video – sorry about that. I was in a cave for around 4 months – but better later than never right

We spend quite a bit of time on our letter, because we feel that having clear, intentional communication is very important – especially when you KNOW that people are going to be reading it. We just feel like this is yet another opportunity that God gives us each year to give Him glory by sharing the story of the past year as witnesses to what God is up to in our lives. So, here is the letter that we wrote and the video recap of our multiple celebrations!!!

THE LETTER:

The adventure continues 2009

Philippians 4:6: “do not be anxious about anything, but through prayer and petition submit everything to God, and He will give you a peace that passes all understanding.”

What a wonderful year this has been full of so much adventure. The year had such a difficult beginning with the loss of Ted’s aunt and uncle (Phil and Louie Rieman). They were such tremendous servants of peace and love, dedicated to trying to bring the Kingdom of God to everyone they encountered.  They are greatly missed –

Inspired by their legacy and the injustices witnessed through his trip to India, Ted began a journey to grow greenLockers (www.greenlockers.org – his non-profit organization) this past year, and God continues to bless the project with over  17 schools participating producing 9,000 lbs of supplies, which were given to 23 different charities in the area, as well as to orphans in Mexico and India. Ted continues to love teaching and mentoring students at Bethel, and has been humbled and honored by the influence that he holds on campus and in our community.

Angela feels privileged to be at home enjoying the little moments each day with the kids. She continues to equip psychology students teaching at Bethel one night a week. With a passion for family and fulfilling relationships, she loves getting to mentor several young women on campus as well as developing new curricula for the premarital counseling seminars at our Church.

As blessed as we feel with all of that, it pales in comparison to the newest addition to our family. Dane Justice Bryant was loaned to us on 3.3.09, and our lives have been enriched ever since. He is such a good boy with his favorite activities including pulling himself up on anything he can grab onto, and trying to sneak away from us to crawl as fast as he can to the dog food and water bowls!! J. Elliana, Kya, and Dakota are great with him – they love him so much!

Elliana started Kindergarten this year. . . she is growing up way too fast (ok, now I sound old J). Her and Kya both love their new public Montessori school that they are attending. Dakota gets to have some great time with Mommy and baby Dane in the morning, and he loves to “read” books.

Amidst the planning, and efforts to raise kids well, fulfill responsibilities at work, church, and in our community. . . . we were interrupted in September of this year. Since we know God loves interrupting our lives (i.e., look back at our track history the past 10 years), we decided to listen. What we heard was a call to help the broken children all around us by becoming a foster family. We have completed the paperwork and begin training early next year, with our first placement probably happening in March sometime. . . . the adventure continues J.  We are excited and nervous, but have decided – like most of the rest of this year – to live in Phil. 4:6. God has got our back, and so we are committed to love boldly in the opportunities He places before us.

We love you all so much, and are incredibly blessed to have you in our lives. We hope and pray that you and your families have the opportunity to love, and be loved, like never before this Christmas season!! Peace & love to all!

THE VIDEO

Christmas celebration 2009 from Ted Bryant on Vimeo.

So, we are in the middle of a parenting series at Church (GCC – you can follow this link to watch the full service), and this past weekend really made an impact on Ang and I. Mark Beeson encouraged us think about the vision, mission, and values of our family. Now, Ang and I had thought about doing this before, and there have even been a few times in the past few years that we actually set aside time to work on this. . . . . and . . . . nothing happened – something came up, . . . we just weren’t feeling like it that day, etc….. – you might have had similar days/thoughts.

So, chalk this up to a way in which becoming foster parents has already made us more intentional parents – we no longer have any time to linger in figuring this out. Don’t get me wrong, . . .  I feel like Ang and I communicate well, and are on the same page 99% of the time when it comes to parenting, but that reality is not an excuse for not thinking through these concepts and getting them on paper. The way that I see it – it will only improve our parenting and our family as we have something that we can return to and remember where our focus is – AND it is a tremendous tool to create a COMMON LANGUAGE of intention and purpose in our family that we can pass on to our children. .  . . . so, . . . yes. . . this will be hanging in our house

Here is what we have come up with

THE VISION (why do we do what we do):

The Bryant family has been given tremendous privilege, talent, resources, and heart to do great things for the Kingdom of God, and we will live to that purpose because we believe that loving other people first as Jesus does – without the worldly conditions of status, characteristics, beliefs, or past behavior – is the highest call given to us.

THE MISSION (what are the steps that we take towards the vision):

As a family we seek to always give God maximum glory by worshiping Him through all of our daily activities – regardless of the circumstances.  This starts with daily submitting our priorities, attitude, time, service, and provision to the LORD.  In addition to studying the truth found in the Bible, we will critically educate ourselves in the opportunities that God has placed before us and seek with great perseverance to be the best stewards of His gifts, which He has so generously poured out to us. If God’s revealed will is somehow in conflict with our own wants and levels of comfort, we will choose to “get over it” and trust Him. We refuse to believe that the greatest life that God wants for us is one of ease, but one that is full (Jn 10:10) – living at the edge of all possibility – accepting both the good days and the difficult ones. The Bryant family will always stand to fight against the enemy and his lies, and will not shrink back from the mantle of carrying the good news to ALL the world.

THE VALUES (how do we treat each other):

1. We choose truth over lying in every situation – regardless of the consequences that may follow.

2. We will treat each other with unconditional love – being accepting, respectful, and kind.

3. We will seek to serve one another before receiving.

4. We will encourage each other in every activity – choosing to build up, and never to tear down.

5. We will choose to view conflict as a tool for unification instead of division.

6. We will be grateful, not greedy.

7. We will sharpen each other to be healthy spiritually, psychologically, physically, intellectually, and socially.

8. We will generously give grace to each other – choosing forgiveness over condemnation.

9. We will try our best knowing that is all God ever asks of us no matter the result.

10. We will stand up for one another, and be there for each other no matter the sacrifice.

11. We will genuinely listen, seeking understanding not only of words but of the heart.

12. We will bring our fun with us; wherever God takes us .

- I encourage you, at whatever stage of life that you are in – to take the time to do this . . . establish your focus in life. . . it is worth the time and effort!

I am not a perfect parent . . . and I will never claim to be. I do have 3 (soon to be 4) small children of my own, and I teach Child Growth and Development, Adolescent Growth and Development, School-age Growth and Development, and Lifespan Growth Development here at Bethel College. . . . so, I am allowing a little room for me to speak on the issue.

PARENTS, we can do better on many things – I’m picking 5:

1. pay attention to our children – listen to them like we care (i.e., eye contact, etc…). Do we realize how simple it is for children to understand. . . . . “Mommy/Daddy have choices – just like I have choices. . . . I like to choose what I want to do. . . what’s important to me. . . . . . if mommy/daddy chooses TV, work, cell phone, internet, chores, etc… – then it must mean those things are more important than me. . . . they must want to do those things more than pay attention/play with me. . . . “. – parents we can do better.

   – do we all need breaks, are there things that need to get done - absolutely, but if this is the consistent pattern - there is no doubt about the message that we are sending.

2. Do what we want our children to do –  we can talk all we want, but all the research that I know says over and over and over – the most powerful and frequent way that children learn is through imitation and modeling. . . translation – “do what I say, not what I do” – NOT GOING TO CUT IT!!  

So, if we want our children to be better TV/movie watchers than readers/creative thinkers/problem solvers/relationship makers, etc… - we know what to do, . . .  if we want them learn how to just do enough hard work to “get by” – then go ahead and lets show them, . . . . if we want them to learn how to be an expert at complaining then let’s keep it up, . . . .  if we want them to learn how to take first and give/serve/ask later. . . . then don’t ever let them see you serve or give without getting anything in return, . . . . if we want them to not know how to resolve conflict in relationships, marriage or just general frustrations. . . then we should continue to blow up and just accuse people, . . . . .if we don’t want them to know how much more of life they can experience and enjoy if they are a physically healthy – then we should never let them see us exercise or eat right, . . . .if we don’t want them to understand the value of good physical contact/comfort – then never hug them, never hold them. . . . .If we don’t want them to know how important our faith, the bible, our husband, our wife is. . . . then never talk about them - -  at least not in a positive way, . . . . and if we don’t want them to know how much we love’em – then by all means . . . . never tell’em.

BUT IF WE WANT THE OPPOSITE FOR OUR CHILDREN – then know. . . . . it needs to start with us. . . and it can! – we can do better.

3. Monitor what goes in and how often - this is a tough one, because I am not one to say that “we should shelter our children” – so let me explain with some academic stuff. What is stored in our Long Term Memory (LTM)?  The things that really last are things that are important to us in some way (i.e., relevant, useful in life, etc…), and the primary way of getting things from short term memory (STM) into LTM is through repetition (i.e., rehearsing information, stories, people’s names and faces, etc…). So, in a sense, . . .  anything that gets repeated enough has a semi-free pass into LTM, which means it will likely be tagged as “important” – useful in our life. . . trustworthy in some sense. . . . . the question is then. . . . what is repeated that much in our children’s lives – relationships, parental dialogue, adult TV/movies, very violent video games, etc…. - – Their filter of processing information is NOT THE SAME as ours – - and know, that if repeated enough. . . one of two things will happen as the information is stored in LTM - 1). they will come to think that it’s ok – and thus, start to apply those modelled behaviors as trustworthy in their life 2). they will become numb to them, and in essence, lose their ability to see how damaging such behaviors could be. – - – again, this is a tough one, but trying to walk this fine line is worth the effort – we can do better.

4. Let them play - most of the major cognitive-learning theorists agree that “play” is the best way for young children especially, to learn new information – not football lessons at age 2, or piano at age 3. . . . these are ok too, but repeatedly – we have seen that children take in more information during “structured play” than during some of these other “lesson” activities. In fact, much research suggests that around 6  is when “lessons” can start to be most effective, and children that have “not had lessons” before this time – are able to “catch up” easily. . . . we can do better.

5. Keep sports fun – let’s not embarress ourselves and our children by acting certain ways at sporting events. I know that many of us think that we are just “helping” the referee see things so that he/she can call a better game, or that we are just “encouraging” our kids to do better by pointing out their flaws “or areas of improvement”, or just rewarding them about their good job by paying them money, etc….. – - – - that is not how it works . . . . time and time again, children are hurt and embaressed by our actions – so much so that they may rather quit something they used to love just so they wouldn’t feel the eyes of their teamates when we (the parents) yell during games, or because of the pressure they feel to perform, or because they no longer are free to just have fun. . . .

I have witnessed these things as a child, young adult, and as a parent – we can do better!

I saw this commercial and it struck me -

BUT, I really do believe that we ALL can do better – these are not just our children, they are the hope of the future. . . . our future. . .

For example, there is such value in sports – team/collectivist mindset, learning to share the burden of defeat and the celebration of victory with others, work ethic, fun, enjoying your abilities, creating great memories of all that happens on your bus trips, etc……

This is how my love of sports collides passionately with my role as a father. I feel like this video (thanks Corey) really brings out the best in all of us. Watch the teenagers come together – listen to the words of the Father. . . . I think God was really smiling about this